Mind Over Matter – A Client Success Story
Back in July, I challenged my friend Ireatha Warren to complete a whole30 challenge with me. It is not an easy challenge so naturally, it took her some time to warm up to the idea. At first, she questioned her ability to do it. Then, she realized that it was a matter of mindset. “I stopped doubting myself and just started saying I can do this.”
Once she made her mind up, she was all in. For 30 days Ireatha made significant changes to what she ate and drank and she found it to be a powerful experience. She switched out her normal breakfast (oatmeal, cereal or a ham and egg biscuit) with 2 boiled eggs and 2 pieces of bacon. She swapped out starchy snacks like popcorn and granola bars for things like nuts and fruit. One of the hardest parts for Ireatha? She said it was giving up the fried chicken but she enjoyed baked chicken as long as it was seasoned well.
I am so proud of my friend for completing the challenge with me. She lost weight, has more energy, and receives a ton of compliments now. She is another great example that believing in ourselves can play a major role in our success.
Keeping a positive mindset and getting started is one thing. Making a smooth transition and navigating back to more liberal ways can be a whole different struggle. Once the challenge is over you don’t want to just fall back into all your old ways, yet you desire a little more freedom after being so strict. How do you do it? I loved Ireatha’s thoughts: “I asked myself what are three things that I can take away from this experience and apply to my life after the challenge.” She went on to explain which changes seemed to make the biggest impact and therefore made the most sense to keep doing.
- Breakfast: She realized how important eating a good breakfast was for her. She feels her best when she eats protein-rich foods in the morning like eggs and chicken. She found that it decreased her need to snack in the afternoon and that she was able to eat a smaller dinner.
- Reading labels: She learned to pay attention to ALL parts of the food label and not just how many grams of sugar a food contains.
- Fruits and vegetables: “When you eat enough fruits and vegetables you really do feel better, and you don’t need extra snacks.” she said.
I think we can also learn from her insight on how to proceed after you finish a challenge: stick with 3 things that made a big impact.
Food For Thought and a little homework:
The whole30 challenge is eye opening, but you don’t always need to go to such extremes to learn things about yourself or improve your eating habits.
What areas in your life would benefit from a positive mindset?
List three things that you’ve learned about your body and the nutrition it needs through previous experiences. Perhaps you can start by completing this sentence. I feel my best when…
The best part of running naked…
Let me tell you about my friend Adam… He’s a really nice guy who works for a local nonprofit, enjoys outdoor adventures and exercise. Adam makes his friends and family a priority – such as taking a Saturday afternoon to help a friend unpack the umpteen boxes for her kitchen and alphabetizes her spice collection upon request.
One Summer afternoon, while talking to Adam about body image issues he told me about his annual 5k run at a nudist colony. Once I pick my jaw off the floor, I was able to listen to his wisdom. In the interview, you’ll find his inspiring words on running and the annual nude run on the beach.
Q: What do you love about running?
A: I’ve been a runner since I was 14 years old. Running long distance feels natural to me and is great exercise, but I love it most because it clears my mind. Moving through the natural world is what human beings are built to do. Running transports me physically and mentally.
Q: What’s different about doing a 5K in the nude?
A: It’s all of the above and then some. It’s exhilarating. Despite what you’d think, there isn’t any discomfort (I do wear shoes). Being nude gives you that much more feedback about your movements, unencumbered as you are by clothes. And, there’s nothing like the feel of the sun and the breeze as you run.
Q: What’s the greatest life lesson you have learned from your annual nudist running experience?
A: People assume that being naked with a group of people is awkward. This particular race is held on a nudist resort, so it’s a safe environment. Within five minutes of being there, you forget that you’re not wearing any clothes. Nude quickly becomes the new normal. It’s only awkward for those one or two who choose to wear clothes.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is how conditioned we are by our clothes and our fear of judgment.
When everyone is nude, the judgment subsides, we see each other for who we are, and we’re able to connect honestly with people. It’s almost like clothes sometimes prevent us from that level of connection.
Q: What keeps bringing you back to run nude every year?
A: Once you’ve done it once, you want to keep doing it. Everyone I’ve met at these races has been fascinating and friendly. I look forward to it all year long.
Q: How can this help someone that might have body image issues?
A: Being nude in these settings is not about seeing or being seen. Staring and gawking are completely inappropriate in a nudist resort. But, it’s human nature to notice other people. And…
What you notice is that everyone is both flawed and beautiful. When everyone is nude, we’re all equally vulnerable. We all have our insecurities, but when we let go of having to hide behind clothes, it’s freeing.
And the tendency to judge based on appearance goes out the window. I think if you have body image issues, being nude in a safe, non-sexual environment with normal-bodied humans could be immensely liberating.
My Discovery and Why You Need to Write a S.F.D.
Last week I talked about gathering DATA when you start to have a craving. Did you try it? What’d you discover? If you didn’t get the chance to try it I want you to keep the idea in your back pocket so you’ll have it in case you need it! This week I want to elaborate on what you can do when you assess the situation and you find that you’re craving is really just a desire for something else. I want to share with you my personal experience with the “DATA” technique and then tell you about one of my favorite things to do next.
The discovery I made during my first WHOLE30…
I’ve always known that procrastination is a problem of mine but I never realized it was associated with what I choose to eat. It wasn’t until the whole30 that I started to pay attention to my food choices more closely than ever before. I knew that I craved chocolate at night. We all have a sweet tooth, right? I mean I come from a long line of chocoholics. Don’t most women? But I never really thought much about my cravings. It was just something that I accepted. I love chocolate. Period.
I discovered so much more. It wasn’t until I was in the midst of a whole30 adventure that I had this AHA moment. One of those…well, that was so obvious why didn’t I notice that before kind of moments.
Because I couldn’t just REACT and give in to my cravings, I was able to stop and bring light to what was behind them. I noticed that they would usually be around 8pm when the kids were finally in bed. Exhausted from the day, nothing sounded better than vegging out or grabbing a treat from the kitchen. I go to the kitchen and glance over at the sink full of the days dirty dishes, stacks of mail on the counter and a house full of toys cluttering the floor. Eek!
Diversion! Quick, I need a diversion! I’ll get a snack first before I tackle these messes. That’s the first thing my unconscious mind would say. Ahh..procrastination rears its ugly head. I was using food to procrastinate. Not cool.
But it was more than just procrastination. I would also be overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt for not having any desire to keep my house clean or keep up with chores. I should. I really should be a good housekeeper, wife, mom and just clean up so I can wake up to a nice and tidy home. But I really, really don’t want to! That was my inner dialogue. It was like a parent asking a child to do a simple task and a child throwing herself on the ground, wailing and whining about how much she doesn’t want to do what you’ve just asked. It was a true inner struggle. I know that I should be doing something productive and I felt so lazy for not wanting to do it.
Ha. And to think that until I was in the thick of my first whole30 experience I never thought twice about the reasons I craved chocolate. I just thought I craved it because it was delicious. But I can be really good at ignoring my feelings. It seems so simple in theory but actually realizing, naming and shining more light on your feelings is a true discipline. Mindfulness if you will.
Luckily at this same time I made this discovery, I was also reading the book Eating with Fierce Kindness, which is amazing by the way. Sasha T Loring calls us all to be our own friend and stop thinking so badly of ourselves. Let’s get rid of all the guilt and instead show ourselves a lot more compassion. So, I’ve been working on allowing myself time to rest at the end of the day if I need it and also trying to tackle chores before they get so out of hand and overwhelming. It’s a work in progress. And yes, I still love chocolate but I try to enjoy it when the time is right. Not to cover up some crazy feelings. Also, a work in progress.
Once you make your own discovery it helps to get curious about it. Here is my favorite way to think about and sort through what’s behind a craving. I write out a Shitty First Draft or SFD. It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a chance to simply write out what’s on your mind without any judgments or hesitation. Anne Lamott, the gal behind the SFD concept, says “just let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later….just get it all down on paper.”
Anne’s advice is geared toward writers but Brene Brown, one of my favorite authors, encourages everyone to create a SFD in regular everyday moments. She calls us to question the stories we make up in our heads and to be curious about our emotions. In her SFDs she writes out these 6 things and then fills in the blanks:
- The story I’m making up is.. (watch Brene talk about this more)
- My emotions..
- My body..
- My thinking..
- My beliefs…
- My actions…
Use this tool in addition to the DATA technique and to help you sort through those things that lie behind the cravings. I wonder what discoveries you might make? Next time you are experiencing a craving or even just feeling uncomfortable and vunerable give these two techniques a try.
How gathering some DATA can help you cut back on the sugar
Last week I talked about treating yourself when the time is right. Today, I follow up on something I mentioned at the end of that blog. I said that I didn’t want to struggle with the sugar dragon every night, aka my sweet tooth. Well, my friends, this is something I am still working on, but I have a secret weapon. I invite you to use this awesome mindful eating tool that can help you manage your cravings. I will also share some strategies that have helped me cut out a lot of sugar.
What Causes Cravings for Sweets?
Many things can trigger cravings. It can be a result of an unbalanced diet. For example, not eating an adequate amount of protein or fat at meals can result in late night snacking. Lucy talks about this in her account of how she broke up with sugar here. Cravings can also be habitually or emotionally driven.
Here we will discuss the habitual and emotional drivers of cravings and share a mindful eating tool for keeping cravings in check. Sugar cravings can be fierce and unrelenting, that’s why I like to refer to my sweet tooth as the sugar dragon. It creeps in your head and demands sweets. It breathes down your neck until it gets something yummy and sweet.
Think about the times your cravings usually occur. Cravings hit when you’ve sat at a desk way too long. Maybe they come when you are alone and bored on the weekends or when you are frustrated, stuck, or exhausted at the end of the day.
We may not recognize these feelings at first, but when the sugar dragon pops up it’s often because something is going on underneath the surface, making us feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. Cravings hit during the times when we feel bored, lonely, tired or vulnerable. In an effort to protect ourselves, our brain will try to divert us from those uncomfortable feelings.
Sugary treats are often readily available at any turn, easy to obtain, only take a minute or two to eat, and they make us feel good almost immediately (although only momentarily). No wonder turning to sugar in one form or the other is a natural habit to pick up. It feels so good that our brain decides we should do that more often. The only trouble is using sugar as a solution isn’t going to help you in the long run.
How do you manage or stop cravings?
To conquer cravings and formed habits, we must retrain our brain. Breaking the habit and fighting the cravings takes awareness and intention. The mindfulness tool below will help you with those two things. Next time the sugar dragon taunts you, instead of immediately complying take a moment to stop and gather some DATA (Describe, Accept, Time, and Assess)…
- Describe the moment to yourself. Where are you? What are you doing? What just happened? What are you feeling? What do you need? What are you thinking? What story are you telling yourself?
- Accept it all for what it is and sit with any discomfort. When doing this, treat yourself like you would your best friend. That means no shaming, blaming, or demeaning yourself for anything. Know that it is okay to be feeling this emotion and show yourself compassion.
- Take time to turn away from the craving and if uncomfortable feelings are under the surface think about what you truly need to process those. You could journal your thoughts, do some coloring, go on a walk, call a friend, tidy up a room, pray or meditate. You can come back to the craving in 10-20 minutes.
- After taking time away, you can now assess your craving and make a deliberate decision rather than an impulsive one. You might still choose to eat something, or you might notice that whatever you did to turn away from the craving lessened the desire to fix the problem with sweets. Perhaps you realize you simply need some sleep, to talk through your feelings, to show yourself some compassion or choose a non-food way to self-soothe.
My challenge to you is to try this tool this week. I’ve done this exercise a few times throughout both of my whole30 experiences and continue to use it when cravings arise. I’ve learned a lot from pausing before reacting. Let me know how it goes for you and what you learn from implementing this mindfulness tool for managing sugar cravings.
What other ways can you stop sugar cravings?
Here are five other ideas to help you cut back on sweets and sugar.
- Be sure you are getting enough protein and healthy fats at each meal.
- Include fruit in your meal so you can end on a naturally sweet note
- Drink a tall glass of ice water perhaps with lemon or a chilled glass of coconut water. Sometimes hydration can ward off a sweet tooth.
- Brush your teeth. Often times, we crave sweet food because we can still taste our dinner. A clean mouth feels excellent and can signal that you are done eating.
- Don’t keep desserts in the house or at eye-sight, especially if you are an abstainer – read more about this in Are you an abstainer or moderator?
Find your inner otter
“We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer
Sometimes as proud, busy, schedules-filling Americans, we are more concerned with being productive, instead of living the good life.
Last week, I was very in touch with all of my earthly possessions (especially since they are scattered about my floor in the new apartment). I was reminded that life is about more than making money and acquiring more things. In the light of an earthquake in Italy and flooding in Louisiana, life is about much more than our earthly possessions and status.
There is a lot of pleasure and joy to be found in experiences. Simple experiences such as a pleasant dinner with your family, going to play at the pool, accidentally stumbling upon a free outdoor concert, or getting an ice cream cone on a warm summer night.
Clearly, it is necessary to make money in order to keep a roof over your head and food on the table, but perhaps there is more opportunity to simply enjoy life?
I believe this concept is well summed up by Dr. Wayne Dyer in an excerpt from Change Your Thoughts to Change Your Life:
“Be a good animal and move freely, unencumbered with thoughts about where you should be and how you should be acting. For instance, imagine yourself as an otter just living your “otterness.” You’re not good or bad, beautiful or ugly, a hard worker or a slacker… You’re simply an otter, moving through the water or on the land freely, peacefully, playfully and without judgments.”
Food for thought:
Take a moment to be present today. Notice a beautiful flower or delight in a pleasant conversation at the office.
As a client reminded me last week, “After all, doing nothing is one of the best parts of being human.”
Recipe of the Week: CrockPot Thai Steak Salad
With back-to-school routines on the mind, we all need a little more help in the kitchen. That’s where the slow cooker comes in handy!
Normally, we think CrockPots are for cold weather… Put the tender cooked steak with a peanut-hoisein sauce on chopped greens and bam! You’ve got a yummy summer-time dinner.
This week’s recipe, CrockPot Thai Steak Salad is brought to you by thefoodcharlatan.com.
Life is too short to not treat ourselves.
Strategies for Dealing with Change and Getting Back into a Groove
if nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies
Stuff! Stuff everywhere! It’s moving week, and I’m not a huge fan of change.
As the story goes, when I attended preschool, it came time to transition from pre-K to kindergarten and I did not handle myself with grace and kindness.
Back then, when a child was acting out the teachers would give the child a bear hug from behind to help calm them down. Here comes five-year-old Lucy acting out because she had to switch schools, make new friends, adopt a new routine, and get used to new teachers – all in the same week! So I kind of freaked out.
The caring and brave teacher comes up and gives me a bear hug from behind, wrapping her arms around my arms and body with the hope of calming me down. Instead, this seemed to make matters worse so I bit the teacher. My mom will confirm I was not regularly biting people. Needless to say, this story goes down in history as a preliminary example of how I handle change.
I am proud to report that I have not bitten anyone all week! Below you’ll find some ideas for your own well-balanced transition back into the school year.
Strategies for Managing Change and Getting Back into a Groove:
- Put first things first. In a move, our family’s rule of thumb is to unpack the kitchen, the bathroom, and the bedroom first. When you have food to eat, a place to wash up, a bed to sleep and clothes on your back you are okay. If you aren’t unpacking but still in midst of a change, consider focusing on keeping these areas tidy and ready for your new routine.
- Ease back into it. When starting a new routine, consider doing a few practice rounds of going to bed earlier, packing lunches the night before and taking those 5-10 minutes of meditation or prayer time during the day to center yourself.
- Practice gratitude. In times of change I often start to feel a “not wanting” sensation – not wanting to unpack boxes, not wanting to deal with the change of address situation, etc. This is the mind’s natural tendency to resist change. Whenever I noticed this coming over me I stop and think of 5 things I’m grateful for.
- Don’t forget the magical power of list making to keep you on track. From my awesome brother-in-law, Jamie “Wunderlist is good for general list keeping. We share a couple of lists like the Home Depot and pre-vacation list.We use AnyList for food shopping. It lets you keep a list of favorites for quick staples shopping and you can create recipe lists which allow you to add all items for a specific dish. And it will put stuff into categories like Produce, Frozen, Meat, Canned Goods, etc.”
Food for thought:
The only constant in life is change.
Whether it’s a change by your design or by a greater power, let us view these as opportunities to reset and become more well-balanced.
Why Well-Balanced Eating is NOT fail proof
It’s 8pm. My husband is working the late shift. I just put the kids to bed. It was far from the peaceful scene I once pictured in my head before having kids. You know… sweet snuggles, fun bubble baths and sweet hugs and kisses before I leave the room. Don’t get me wrong there was some of that but not without plenty of struggles. Like the sprinting after my child who is running from me the moment I mention bath time, the frantic ‘oh crap where’d the paci go’ search, the argument over which pajamas to put on (the clean ones or the ones she has worn 5x in a row already), the shame from losing my temper, the cries for attention when I only have 2 hands and 1 lap, and the long lasting pleading, screaming, whiny finale I hear when I finally say, “it’s time to go to bed.”
Sigh. I close the door. While I still hear crying I walk down the stairs and look around at my messy house. I see dishes to do, toys to clean, emails to return, projects to work on…. ugh..I just can’t. It’s too much and I feel like I just ran a marathon! So, I open the pantry and I treat myself to some cookies. Just one more. And another. I can’t stop. Oh look… the package is gone. This is embarrassing.
Hello. My name is Kristen and I am a recovering perfectionist. I never thought I would admit to overindulging in a moment of weakness. To start out my blog post telling you about the far from perfect bedtime scene in my house. But I can share this with you now because I’ve learned to have compassion for myself, to realize that I’m only human, to look at my failures as lessons and to not let my failures define me.
Turns out that a requirement for being a human is to be imperfect. Which means FAILING is just part of the whole process. Well-balanced eating (and well-balanced living for that matter) is not fail proof because at the end of the day no matter what plan we decide to follow we are only human and this is real life.
Too often we expect the journey to be picture perfect and we don’t plan for the struggles. It doesn’t matter the number of mistakes, slips, failures – no matter what you call them – that you have, it’s how you embrace them and what you do next that matter the most. Lucy and I like to call them LESSONS because there is always something you can learn or a way you can grow from something not going the way you hoped. We can get a lot further if we embrace the struggle, have compassion for ourselves and never let our set-backs define us. Learn, love, grow and keep on, keeping on. What “lessons” have you learned lately?
Here is some food for thought:
What areas in your life did you imagine to be picture perfect?
What mistakes, slips, failures in your life can you embrace a little more? What lessons can you learn?
Do you beat yourself up for making mistakes? What can you do to show yourself more compassion when you mess up? (Journaling and positive affirmations work wonders for me!)
Are you letting your mistakes define you or hold you back? Instead, what can you do to grow?
5 Steps to Workout Success!
If you are persistent, you will get it. If you are consistent, you will keep it.
I spend my spare time at the YMCA of Durham or Chapel Hill. I like to tell people if I’m not outside playing in the woods, I prefer to be playing at the YMCA.
Given my regular presence at the Y, I have the opportunity to see and get to know other people that workout there too. Some of you might remember Bendy Al, who typically works out between 1 – 3 PM. Then there are the highly motivated morning folks getting their sweat on between 5:30 – 8 AM – y’all are crazy and I love it! Not surprisingly, there’s quite the rush around 5 PM for people coming in after work.
If we’ve learned nothing else about making habits over the last 6 weeks, we know the most important part of establishing a habit is consistency. The people that regularly include exercise are the ones that show up around the same time at least a few days per week.
Steps to workout success
Step 1
Identify your energy peak zone – Do you feel energized in the morning or afternoon? What’s your most productive hours of the day?
Step 2
Pick together or flying solo – Decide if you enjoy exercising with a friend, in a group or prefer to use it as your “me time” to listen to some jams and zone out.
Step 3
Decide inside or outside – Some people are highly unmotivated to go to the gym but really enjoy walking in the park or around their neighborhood. That counts too! There are plenty of hiking trails around these parts in North Carolina to explore.
Step 4
Put it on your calendar – Most appointments we put on the calendar become priory. Take a look at yours and find a time to schedule the workouts.
Step 5
Track your awesomeness! My secret reward at the end of the day is to check my iPhone health apps and see how many steps I got that day. If it’s less than 10,000 I can usually take a walk around the block to get there. Maybe you have a Fitbit to keep you motivated? Or perhaps you’d prefer to track based on how your clothes fit or how much weight you can bench press now versus 3 months ago.
Food for thought:
You can’t wish or hope your way into regular exercise or a fit body.
Using the steps above you can create your ideal workout plan and make it happen!
Recipe of the Week: Mason Jar Greek Chicken Salad
It’s moving week!!! (I’m not going far, just back towards SouthPoint)
That means I’m going to need some easy grab-and-go meals. These mason jar salads can be prepared at the start of the week and will stay fresh 5-7 days in the fridge.
This week’s recipe, How to Make Greek Chicken Mason Jar Salad is brought to you by organizeyourselfskinny.com and youtube.com.