Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. – Brene Brown
I’ve learned a lot about boundaries in the past 3 1/2 years. When my daughter was born I discovered just how much your heart can love a tiny human. Naturally, I want to give her the world and I want her to be happy. Now more than ever, she has been testing her limits and pushing her boundaries as three-year-olds do. In those trying moments, I want to give in to her desires just to make her happy. Yet, I know avoiding temporary disappointments will only lead to long-term consequences.
If I let my little girl do whatever she wanted, she’d miss out on opportunities to develop life skills like learning how to share, be a friend, follow directions, and get along with others. On the other hand, if I’m too strict with her, she might not learn to think on her own, her confidence could suffer and she might grow to resent me. The sweet spot is right in the middle where loving boundaries exist.
A boundary is simply a line drawn between what is okay and not okay. While I’m in the thick of establishing these loving boundaries as a parent, I realize how important this concept is for our health and wellness goals as well. We have to determine for ourselves what is okay and not okay to preserve our health in the long-run.
For example, one of my clients has recently entered a new relationship. She realized upfront that she could easily get swept up in other things if she didn’t define what was important to her now. She knew that getting a good workout in at least 3 times a week kept her mentally and physically feeling her best. So now that she has this boundary set in her mind, it becomes easier to choose the gym even when other opportunities arise. She’s choosing to focus on the greater, long-term results of loving herself, instead of focusing on what would make everyone happy in the moment.
The holiday season is a time when we could all really stand to set loving boundaries. It is so easy to worry about disappointing others that we often forget to care for ourselves. Setting boundaries can be the most loving thing we do for ourselves this time of year. Your boundaries can help guide your decisions and make it easier to stay true to yourself through the hustle and bustle.
Food for thought:
Boundaries are a function of self-love and self-respect. – Brene Brown
Inspiration. Lately I’ve developed a habit of enjoying my morning coffee break with inspirational YouTube videos. It started with Dr. Wayne Dyer, then I discovered more gems by Evan Carmichael featuring the Maya Angelou Top 10 Rules for Success. As one of my favorite sayings goes, “inspiration without action is just entertainment.” Therefore, I strive to connect their wisdom to my journey and apply it to the health and wellness message we bring to our Well-Balanced Tribe.
The first tip by Maya Angelou stuck with me all week as it reminds us to “just do right!” This can be applied to all facets of life – from how you treat a disgruntled coworker (with loving-kindness!), to deciding what to do for dinner.
I’ve mentioned before I used to be a nailbiter, and I am proud to say now I don’t bite my nails most of time. There is the occasional moments I catch myself and hear Mama Cathy’s most loving nag voice of “quit biting your nails!”When I’m doing right that includes regularly clipping my fingernails, painting with a color or clear nail polish and staying mindful of moments I feel tempted to start nibbling.
I had a client last week who is working on making more well-balanced meals for her family. She’s rediscovered the plethora of options using her crockpot – hooray Pinterest! Unfortunately, now she worries if she should be buying organic? And what about the effects of soybeans on men and young children? And how about the canned cream of mushroom soup, isn’t that really bad for you? Instead of worrying, I suggested this client to continue making those 3 dinners a week and she aims to ‘do right’ by including at least 1 vegetable with dinner.
We are all at a different stage in the journey of living healthy and well-balanced. Doing right for you may be not ordering French fries with the spicy chicken sandwich at Wendy’s. Or doing right means taking time on Sunday afternoon to chop veggies for dinner during the week. Or taking time to review the action plan checklist each day to see if you accomplished the wellness goals you set.
Food for thought:
I want you each to feel proud of the steps you’ve taken to be well. It’s a journey (marathon, not a spirit, for the runners out there).
What did you do right last week? _________________________________
Y’all it’s finally happened… I’ve been in the south long enough that I developed a taste for cooked greens and bacon. So yummy! Below is a recipe I’ve modified from Martha Stewart and my friend, Culley.
Lucy’s Favorite Collards w/ Bacon!
Ingredients
2 bunches collard greens, stemmed
3 teaspoons vegetable oil
1/2 red onion, sliced
3 slices bacon, cut crosswise into 1/4-inch strips
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 cup homemade or low-sodium store-bought chicken stock
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 Tbsp molasses
Directions
Working in batches, stack greens; cut crosswise into 2-inch-thick strips. Gather strips; cut crosswise into 2-inch pieces. Transfer to a large bowl of cold water; swish to remove grit. Transfer greens to a colander using a slotted spoon; let drain. Repeat until greens are free of grit.
Heat oil in a very large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and bacon; cook until onions are translucent, about 4 minutes. Add greens; cook, stirring, until greens begin to wilt and are reduced in volume.
Raise heat to high; add vinegar. Cook, scraping up brown bits from bottom of skillet, until vinegar has evaporated, about 1 minute.
Add stock, red pepper flakes and molasses; reduce heat. Simmer, covered, until greens are just tender, 12 to 14 minutes. If making ahead, refrigerate, covered; reheat over low heat.
1cuphomemade or low-sodium store-bought chicken stock
1tspred pepper flakes
1Tbspmolasses
Instructions
Working in batches, stack greens; cut crosswise into 2-inch-thick strips. Gather strips; cut crosswise into 2-inch pieces. Transfer to a large bowl of cold water; swish to remove grit. Transfer greens to a colander using a slotted spoon; let drain. Repeat until greens are free of grit.
Heat oil in a very large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and bacon; cook until onions are translucent, about 4 minutes. Add greens; cook, stirring, until greens begin to wilt and are reduced in volume.
Raise heat to high; add vinegar. Cook, scraping up brown bits from bottom of skillet, until vinegar has evaporated, about 1 minute.
Add stock, red pepper flakes and molasses; reduce heat. Simmer, covered, until greens are just tender, 12 to 14 minutes. If making ahead, refrigerate, covered; reheat over low heat.
Awh..the season for feasting is here. There is a good chance you will be eating some turkey, gravy, rolls, stuffing and all the things to go along with it soon. YUM!! Who is excited for the yummy food?! (Me!) I could go on about how to be mindful, eat a well-balanced turkey dinner, avoid overeating but let’s face it…. Thanksgiving is about celebrating our food! Dare I say it but… I think it’s okay to overindulge a bit at your Thanksgiving meal.
Perhaps the most important thing is what you do afterward. Here’s what I plan to do after the feasting is done.
Get outside and move! One year I did a turkey trot walk/run the morning of Thanksgiving. Another year my family walked around Duke’s campus after eating our meal. This year I’m gonna #OptOutside! Will you join me? Let’s say no to the long lines and madness of shopping and say yes to nature!! We’ll be posting pictures of us opting outside on our Facebook page. We wanna see your nature selfies too! Post them with the hashtag #OptOuside and #wellbalancednutrition
Go green! Leftovers are awesome. We will likely have plenty of turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls and pie left after it’s all said and done! It’s really easy to over-do it if we don’t balance them out with some fruits and veggies. I am planning to buy a variety of greens and fruit to eat alongside the remaining foods from the turkey day spread.
Eat breakfast. When you overeat a bit on Thanksgiving, skipping breakfast that morning or the next day may seem like a reasonable thing to do but it’s not wise. I will keep my metabolism going with a small and healthy morning meal such as eggs and fruit.
There you have it, folks! Those are my plans. What will you do? Comment below and let us know or let us know on Facebook.
We’re on the other side of November 8th and no matter how you felt when you woke up November 9th I’ve been thinking we all need a bit more love and kindness.
A few months ago I went to a talk at the City of Durham and our City Manager spoke about the philosophy they share with their employees. It’s three parts, starting with taking care of yourself; then taking care of work/life responsibilities and finally taking care of the community. I love this! It directly lines up with what we teach at Well-Balanced Nutrition.First and foremost, all of us need to take care of ourselves. Last week, I had a client who was trying to give from an empty cup – see What fills your cup? – and as a result her mental and physical health are declining with poor sleep, high blood pressure, weight gain and elevated stress hormones.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer reminds us we cannot give away that which we do not possess. For example, you promise someone a bag of oranges, if you don’t already have oranges at home you would have to go to the store and buy them. To share love and kindness with your friends, family and community you must start by loving and being kind to yourself. Some do this by staying connected to their source, God. While others find more connection in nature or other outlets.
In an effort to help myself, and everyone in my life, I spend time practicing a loving-kindness meditation or exercise as I walk through the woods, which I shared below. This gives me peace and gratitude while I use energy to send love first to myself, then my loved ones. Ultimately, extending this loving-kindness to someone I find difficult to love. Maybe it’s a politician, a group of people with different beliefs and more violent lifestyles or a coworker who causes stress or anxiety.
Food for thought:
I invite each of you to join me in 5 to 10 minutes of this loving-kindness exercise today.
Caution: Doing this exercise will make you feel happy and peaceful.
Loving-Kindness
Shared by: Ann Thornton
(Say aloud preferably, but you can speak it silently)
Lovingkindness to [your name]
Repeat 3 times
May [your name] be happy, free from worry and pain
Repeat 3 times
May [your name] have the strength, courage, hope, and faith to meet and overcome the difficulties in her/his life.
Repeat 3 times
Next replace your name with names of your close loved ones, then you can pick the names of others you want to send lovingkindness. Last, replace your name with someone you may be having difficulties with or trouble understanding.
You will soon memorize the phrases and the words will come naturally.
I was taught not to say them with strong emotions, but rather just calmly repeat them.
There is a new diet or a research finding on Dr. Oz, O Magazine, or on your Facebook feed all the time. It’s exhausting. Overwhelming. Sometimes annoying and downright confusing.
With so much out there, what is a gal or guy to do when they just want to eat healthy? Have more energy? Make a change?
It’s important to find a Registered Dietitian you can trust. An expert in the field that understands what it takes to change habits. I polled my fellow RDs to bring you THE THREE THINGS DIETITIANS WISH YOU KNEW…
Want to make a healthy change? You cannot do it overnight. Consistency, tracking, and accountability are the keys to healthy change. BOTTOM LINE: If a program or pill promises instant results, sounds too good to be true or makes it seem way too easy… it probably won’t work in the long run. You have to be willing to put in the work and have patience. The good news though, is you don’t have to do it alone. You got this and we are here to help.
We aren’t judging your food choices. If you sit down at the lunch table with one of us, you shouldn’t worry, we really don’t want to be the food police and we don’t want you judging what we eat either! Dietitians eat sweets and junk foods sometimes, too! BOTTOM LINE: No food shaming here! We try really hard not to label foods as good or bad. We actually encourage enjoying sweets, beer/wine or other indulgent foods that are worth it to you on occasion.
There isn’t a ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL approach to healthy eating. Each of our bodies is unique and the foods that will make us feel our best will be different. We love to help people figure out the right eating pattern that fits their individual needs and preferences. BOTTOM LINE: Just because your friend had success on a diet, doesn’t mean you will. We encourage you to do what is right for you. We can help you find what that is.
Food for thought:
Do you agree with these 3 things?
What is the most absurd diet advice you’ve heard?
So what’s the right choice for you? I know, I know. Maybe you’re thinking, “if I knew that I wouldn’t be talking to you!” That’s why we call it a journey.
Cathy Passeun, aka Mama Cathy, is an inspirational woman. When we lived in Arizona she frequently climbed Shaw butte – A solid 3 mile hike uphill in the desert. When I was in middle school she went to grad school and completed a masters degree. When I was in high school she chose self-employment to have more freedom in her schedule and spend quality time with her teenage daughter (brave, right?!). She has bought and sold houses and investment property. She teaches yoga and stays actively involved in her church as a believer in Jesus Christ. The word you are looking for is multifaceted.
When my mom got above her desired weight range earlier this year she became motivated to get it in check, and lucky enough she has a dietitian daughter.
Mama Cathy is preoccupied with knowing how long it takes her to do certain tasks. For instance, she discovered it takes 7 minutes to empty the dishwasher – now when she’s contemplating if there is enough time she knows it’s just 7 minutes. Recently, in an effort to include more energy during the day my mom started including a whole grain English muffin and a microwave scrambled egg at breakfast (did you know this is a thing?!). One day, for fun she timed how long it took to prepare and eat this meal, which she discovered totaled 16 minutes – 3 minutes to cook and 13 to eat. Now she knows how to (1) make a simple, healthy and well-balanced breakfast and (2) block time for breakfast, which is important for her weight-loss goals. (see note from Mama Cathy below!)
I’m not trying to call her out; however, my mom is no stranger to fast food restaurants. As a busy executive for JDRF she is often on the road for business. Going to a sit-down restaurant is not always an option so occasionally Wendy’s, Taco Bell or aother drive-thru comes in handy. Last week while running around town, Mom realized she forgot to eat breakfast before leaving home. While driving by McDonald’s she noticed a grocery store in the same shopping center and passed the drive-thru to go pick up hard-boiled eggs and an apple to give her the protein and complex carbohydrates for energy to last through the morning.
For as long as I remember my mom has always been a walker, but in more recent years I’ve discovered she loves taking classes. Forever a student, she enjoys the community and encouragement in the group fitness setting. Now Mom signs up for water aerobics at the community center and looks forward to her workout and whirlpool time every Monday and Wednesday evening.
I’m so proud of my mom for many reasons, but this year I am especially proud of the commitment she made to her health. She inspires me and I hope has inspired you too!
Food for thought:
It can be overwhelming when you try to change your diet and lifestyle. Fortunately, you are part of the Well-Balanced Tribe who wants to encourage and support your healthy choices.
What is 1 day-to-day habit you can work on this week? ___________________________
How can you make it fun (like combining exercise with the whirlpool fun!)?
Note from Mama Cathy: 2 thoughts – breakfast takes 16 minutes because I’m also making a fresh made shake that I put in a travel mug and take to work with me. While I’m cooking my breakfast I’m also making my midmorning healthy snack. Also, just so folks know change can take a while-it took me six months ofbeing on Weight Watchersto get to this point with my food.
It didn’t happen all at once it and it certainly doesn’t happen quickly and it doesn’t happen in the span of an hour show. It’s something where I believe little changes incorporated overtime are really what add up to the difference.
Staying in your pajamas a little longer, watching cartoons, and snuggling on the couch… all reasons I love Saturday mornings. It is a sunny but cool day here in Durham and the perfect fall day for pumpkin muffins. We had these as a mid morning snack and they really hit the spot!
This recipe is modified from this post over at The Kitchn. They make a point to use the individual spices instead of the premixed pumpkin pie spice. They also remind you that the recipe calls for plain pumpkin puree not the sweetened pumpkin pie mix in a can.
Prepare a 12-cup muffin pan (or two 6-cup muffins pans) with liners, or skip the liners and just grease the cups.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and salt. Set aside.
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, or in a large mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, 1 to 2 minutes.
Add the eggs one at a time, beating after adding each one.
Add the pumpkin purée and vanilla extract.
Stir in half the dry ingredients, mixing until just combined. Add the second half. Do not overmix.
Spoon the batter into the prepared muffin cups so they are 3/4 of the way full.
Bake for 18 to 22 minutes, until a tester comes out with few crumbs.
I love fall. The weather is cooler, the leaves change color and it’s the perfect time to get outside. Not to mention it marks the beginning of many celebrations and holidays to come…which is a wonderful thing and a challenging thing all at once.
Halloween is the first celebration of the season and boy was that fun! Don’t you just love seeing kids in their costumes all giddy for candy? And walking past all the houses with spooky decorations?
Of course, my 3-year-old wanted to be Elsa and my little guy was an adorable dragon. They did a great job of collecting tons of goodies in their plastic pumpkin buckets, but now I am dealing with the aftermath.
Candy on the brain. It’s all my little Elsa wants in the morning and in the afternoon and before bed. She sees that plastic bucket and she wants to consume all the candies! If you give her one she asks for “one more” and then “one more.”
Can you blame her? I can’t. She is just like her mom. I see the candy sitting out and I grab a piece. Then I think to myself, ” maybe just one more.” I am not a good moderator with chocolate and cookies. I do much better if it’s out of sight, out of mind.
So here is my 2 part strategy for the Halloween candy stash.
I created a game board that I titled LIFE IS SWEET. I found a poster board and wrote the rules of the game: (1) Be sweet. (2) Be grateful. (3) Enjoy a sweet treat. I taped/glued on 30 paper cups and let my little girl pick out 30 of her favorite pieces of candy which she then put in each cup. I covered the cups with a square of tissue paper labeled 1-30. Now every day in November after we recall the ways in which she was sweet that day – for instance, being a good friend, listening to mom and dad, being kind to her brother – and say out loud one thing she is thankful for she can enjoy a treat. (By the way, the two things she is grateful for so far are candy and macaroni and cheese! Ha!)
I put the rest out of sight so it can be out of mind. I froze the rest of the chocolate candy to pull out on special occasions throughout the next 10 to 12 months or when the dire craving hits. The non-chocolate candy went in the cabinet.
I’m hopeful that the 2-part strategy will eliminate the desire to overindulge and create a fun element to enjoying the candy over time.
Food for thought:
Are you a moderator or an abstainer when it comes to Halloween candy? How about other holiday treats?
What strategies can you use to make it easier to avoid overindulging when ______ is present in abundance?
All signs point to a fun-filled experience at the North Carolina State fair. One thing I didn’t expect to get from the experience was a wonderful opportunity to practice mindfulness and self-care. While walking through crowds of people from all over the state it would have been easy to get annoyed or frustrated every time a stranger ran into me or cut us off in mid-stride. Instead, I noticed how my mind responded to each encounter. See a few of these insights below.
Lessons learned at the fair:
I really don’t enjoy big crowds anymore – My dad has been saying this for years and I used to think he was kind of lame. Now I respect his decision because frankly hanging out with a lot of other people – especially strangers – can be sort of exhausting.
I should always pack a lunch – even just a peanut butter jelly sandwich. I know, I know the food is half the fun at the fair. However, knowing that I have something well-balanced on hand and not being subject to the deep-fried, calorie dense fluff gives me the peace of mind to make a mindful and delicious decision (like a frozen chocolate covered banana!) in the face of too many choices.
Staying well hydrated is imperative. I should always fill up my water when I have the opportunity because the next water fountain might be broken.
Practice mental health exercises before, during, and after. I need to do 30 minutes of exercise such as a brisk walk or short jog before potentially stressful or draining events. Exercise is my form of mental health, maybe for you relaxing includes reading a good book, doing crafts, or talking to a friend.
Stay in the moment. Appreciate humanity. Take pictures and smile because you’re having fun. Don’t let one person stepping on your toes (literally or figuratively!) ruin the rest of the experience.
Food for thought:
What are some of your self-care truths? You can discover this by filling in the blank:
I feel most peaceful and happy when: _____________________________________________________.
When are you not taking caring of yourself?
I feel overwhelmed and irritable when: ____________________________________________________.
With the holidays rapidly approaching, I encourage each of you to list at least 3 ways you can take care of yourself during this festive and fun-filled season.
the food is half the fun at the fair. However, knowing that I have something well-balanced on hand and not being subject to the deep-fried, calorie dense fluff gives me the peace of mind to make a mindful and delicious decision (like a frozen chocolate covered banana!) in the face of too many choices.