Monday, Aug 21, 2017
The other night, while reading Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire, I got to thinking about my people. You know, the ones that make life more fun, doable, and interesting. I joke that God knows I am such a handful I needed two partners – one in life and one in business.
If you have ever been through tough times, you know how important relationships are. Whether it’s the relationships with your family, best friends, or church community we all want to know that we matter and have a sense of belonging. In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the need to feel loved and accepted is just above the need to be safe.
Back to Harry Potter, in the fourth book – The Goblet of Fire – Harry is competing in the Triwizard tournament. He is at least three years younger than his competitors and has less magical education, knowledge, and experience. Luckily, Harry has several helpers along his journey to give him the support he needs. For instance, his best friend, Hermione, helps them learn a summoning charm to successfully complete the first challenge. He also gets a tip from one of his fellow competitors for the second challenge, and so on throughout the story.
We cannot expect to reach our big goals alone. It is imperative to have support and help from others to succeed.
Who are you hanging out with?
Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker, says we are all the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. If your goal is to be fit and active, but all your social time is spent sitting at a friends house eating snack foods and drinking wine, is that helping you reach your goal?
In another example, we can look at Sarah’s story. Sarah has always been a healthy eater who also happens to enjoy sweets. She recently started dating a guy who loves all things chocolate. He takes candy with him everywhere and often brings chocolate to share with Sarah whenever they hang out. In the first six months of their relationship, Sarah was surprised to find she gained 8 pounds.
In life, there are helpers and hinderers when it comes to living well-balanced. We have friends and accomplices. Our friends genuinely want to help us and our accomplices want to help us… get in trouble.
Be the change
Before you go saying farewell to all of your friends or family members, let’s consider a few other options.
- Find a helper. Get someone on your team to support your health initiatives. This can be an accountability partner at the gym that encourages you to work out consistently. Or a coworker that is keeping a spreadsheet of your progress.
- Join the tribe! We have an active and fabulous Facebook group that provides ideas and encouragement to help you make healthy lifestyle changes.
- Train your people. I have a client who has successfully “trained” his guy friends that he does not drink alcohol on work nights. That means they do not offer him a beer or other drink if it’s Sunday through Thursday. This helps him continue to make good choices while still enjoying the social time.
- Get accountability. Find a friend, coach, or app that can support and encourage your healthy habits.
Food for thought: It’s never too late to ask for help. If you noticed your partner bringing more snack foods home lately and it’s affecting your habits, perhaps now is a good time to have a conversation about your goals and how the ones that love you most can help you reach them.