by Lucy | Jan 22, 2017 | Motivational Mondays
Monday, January 23, 2017
“…if we want freedom from perfectionism, we have to make the long journey from “what will people think” to I am enough.” -Brene Brown
I’ve admitted before that I’m a recovering perfectionist and I’ve explained that Well Balanced eating is far from perfect. Today, I share with you why we should not strive for perfection when it comes to our bodies.
Perfectionism, not to be confused with self-improvement or striving for excellence, is a never ending struggle to please everyone in order to avoid discomfort. As Brene Brown defines it, perfectionism is a belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgement, and blame.
Body shaming is when we tell ourselves we are not good enough unless we have the perfect stomach, the perfect butt or the perfect hair. And if we don’t feel good enough, we tend to judge other people for not being perfect. Then when we are feeling bad about ourselves we blame someone or something for our imperfections.
What we must realize is that our worthiness does not have anything to do with what our bodies look like. I’ve battled with body shame recently, feeling too small and not girly enough. I’m not saying this for pity and definitely not to be judged, but to help us all understand that it is normal for us to feel a little uncomfortable about our bodies. We all fight the voices that tell us, if only I had ____, I would be _____. You can fill in the blanks.
It’s not that we can’t enjoy wearing make-up to feel beautiful or go to the gym to get a fitter body. The trouble is when we start associating our worth with those things.
Your homework: Listen to your inner critic and pay close attention to how much you believe and internalize the things she tells you. It’s important to be mindful of negative feelings but then to let them go, rather than clinging on to the negativity. When you hear your inner voice say things that you would never say to your daughter or your best friend, it is time to replace those thoughts with, “I am enough.”
by Lucy | Jan 15, 2017 | Motivational Mondays
Monday, January 16, 2017
#Struggling
I had not expected that simple cry for a virtual hug on FaceBook would lead to such an outpouring of love and support. Last week, the snowstorm obliterated my work schedule and created a spiral of negativity in my mind. After a particularly rough day, I posted “#Struggling…Prayers welcome” on Facebook. The response was tremendous. I received many comments with words of encouragement from people of different chapters in my life. The positive energy was felt immediately and the week ended very well.
I was pleasantly surprised and this experience reminded me of how much people want to help each other. It feels good to be needed and nice to support someone else. According to Dr. Christine Carter of Psychology Today, when we are kind to other people we boost our own physical and mental health. Some people report feeling stronger and more energy when they volunteer, while others report less depression and a sense of calmness.
I was at an office last week and heard a familiar story about the food dumping in the break room. This is a common practice of coworkers to leave leftover cake, cookies, other baked goods, or candy to share with their fellow office mates. We live in a society where processed sugar is often used as a way to show love, comfort, or support. For those who cannot stop at one square of chocolate, one cookie, or a small piece of cake these “gifts” turn into willpower zapping sugar demon experiences.
It’s that time of year when some of us are feeling extra inspired to become our happiest healthiest selves. This time, let’s not go at it alone. Let’s be the support of loving kindness to each other on our shared journeys.
Food for thought:
Are you #Struggling? Is it irresistible treats in the break room or your best friend constantly asking you to go out for pizza?
Often people do not know you are struggling unless you tell them… Being vulnerable can be scary, but it can also be amazingly rewarding.
We would love to hear how we can help! Feel free to respond or leave a comment below.
by Lucy | Jan 8, 2017 | Motivational Mondays
Monday, January 9, 2017
Last week, I met Peggy*, who has prediabetes. She, like many of you, is interested in managing her health and wellness without prescription medications. Peggy has a strong family history of diabetes and heart disease but does very well managing her weight with regular exercise and a well-balanced diet. She also lives with a professional chef who loves to bake cookies, cupcakes, and other sweet treats. Despite being at a healthy weight and doing regular physical activity, Peggy’s blood sugars are higher than normal and her physician recommended she start drug therapy.
In our conversation, Peggy wanted to know her options. We talked about the pros and cons of taking medications and also reviewed the importance of being a detective of her blood sugars. During our conversation, Peggy decided she would regularly monitor her glucose – sugar in the blood – to identify what times of day, meals, and snacks may be causing her elevated blood sugars.
This action plan includes several steps including: (1) buying a glucometer to check her blood sugars, (2) buying the test strips to draw the blood, (3) setting a reminder to check her glucose at different times each day, and (4) recording the results in a journal or electronic device. While this may sound excessive, to Peggy it is worth finding out the information in order to make the best decision for her health and well-being.
This situation made me remember the choices conversation we had last year. Life is nothing but a series of choices to decide how to use our time, energy, money, and other resources.
*Name changed to protect identity
Food for thought:
- Are you trying to change your eating habits?
- Are you feeling brave enough to try that new exercise class at the gym?
The only thing stopping us is the story in our minds. What’s worth the effort for you?
by Lucy | Jan 1, 2017 | Motivational Mondays
Monday, Jan 2, 2017
We are all story tellers. I used to say I’m a terrible story teller, mostly because of my tendency to get off track and ruin the punch line (I call it my “shiny object syndrome”).
Now I see the story my mind is telling me on almost a daily basis. If I’m tired or run down the story is not all sunshine and butterflies but instead my thoughts are focused on what it difficult or “wrong.” Most days I choose a better story. I am healthy. I love my job. I enjoy helping people. I am blessed. I am grateful.
As the New Year began I asked a few healthy people – like yourself – about their own wellness story that separated them from the pack. After listening to many stories I noticed a trend. For most successful well-balanced people their lifestyle choices are simple, mindful, and fun/delicious.
It’s simple
A hair stylist and friend of mine was telling me his own 20 pound weight loss story of 2016. He said it was “almost so simple it’s silly,” but he stopped buying the trigger foods that were preventing
him from reaching his goal weight. When he cut out fast food, stopped buying Oreos, and included breakfast daily the weight easily came off (and that was without exercise!). Instead of going out for fast food he bought pita bread and alternated between hummus, peanut butter, or deli meat with cheese as an easy lunch or dinner option. He consistently eats boiled eggs with fruit for breakfast and occasionally treats himself to fried eggs, bacon and hash browns.
It’s mindful
A client of mine, who we will call Janice, was mostly on-track when we started to meet last Summer, but she struggled with her snack habit. Janice knew the candy, granola bars, and other munchies at the office were preventing her from reaching her goals. She worked in a high stress environment and often turned to snacks as a stress reliever. Janice put the DATA system into action and practiced mindful eating consistently for three weeks. In that time she lost 6 pounds! Each time she thought about reaching for a snack she paused, described the situation to herself, acknowledged it was just a temporary craving, and turned to a different activity such as deep breathing or a walk around the office. Janice soon discovered she didn’t need to force herself to eat salads for lunch every day and instead she cut the mindless snacks out and remains on-track today.
It’s fun or delicious
I met a gal, Carla, last week who loves cheesecake. She is a diabetic and knows how carbohydrates and simple sugars affect her glucose (sugar in the blood). In the last 4 years, she has progressively changed her diet to primarily eating fruits, vegetables, protein, and some complex carbs – such as whole wheat bread or pasta, quinoa, and oats. However, she still hears the call of the cheesecake when she goes grocery shopping. Carla will occasionally give into the call and buys a small cake with the intention of eating one slice a day for a week. She admits the cake is usually gone within 24 hours. While we talked, I suggested a delicious alternative to the cheesecake. Now, Carla mitigates her cheesecake cravings with 1 graham cracker, a bit of all fruit spread, and whipped cream cheese. She reports this offers a sweet and creamy alternative without guilt or running the risk of high blood sugars!
Another example, when Mama Cathy decided to get more active she knew weight training and walking on the treadmill at the gym was not her idea of a good time. Instead, she tapped into her love of group fitness classes and religiously signs up for the 10-week water aerobics sessions every quarter. She looks forward to playing in the water and getting a great workout every Monday and Wednesday evening. Having a fun exercise also stops her from making less healthy food choices so as to not “undo” all of the work in the pool.
Food for thought:
New Year’s resolutions aside, when thinking about your own wellness goals and initiatives are they simple, mindful, or fun?
If not, how can you simplify your good habits?
How can you make them more mindful?
And where’s the fun?!
If you’re looking for more guidance in 2017, we hope you’ll check out Restart, Rebalance to get you the personalized support you need!
by Lucy | Dec 18, 2016 | Motivational Mondays
Monday, December 19, 2016
Fold your laundry! Do the dishes! Why do you always leave your toys on the floor??
A few years ago, I received a book called The Gift of Feedback from my mentor and friend, Heather Miranda. Prior to receiving this book, I had a serious conversation with a supervisor regarding my tendency to be late. At the time, I did not see the feedback about my tardiness as a gift. It felt more like a punch in the gut!
What happens if you criticize or offer constructive feedback to someone? Likely, they get defensive and tell you why you’re wrong. Or they start making excuses to explain or defend their behavior.
Sometimes, especially during the holidays, (aka the season of sugar) we make decisions that we think are bad or wrong. The “bad food” does not perfectly follow our diet or we may have overeaten the good stuff. For example, a friend of mine went to a holiday party last week and decided not to eat any sweets, but after being persuaded by coworkers she ate a few bites of dessert. The next day, my friend checked her weight at the gym and instantly felt terrible because of the number on the scale. She attributed the weight gain to the 3 bites of dessert she ate the day before. Inside, she was highly critical of herself and the story in her mind focused on the “mistake” that she made.
As discovered by the world-famous psychologist, B. F. Skinner, animals learn more rapidly when rewarded for good behavior versus being punished for bad behavior. Studies show this concept applies to us humans too. Some parents may agree they are more likely to get their kids to do chores or homework when praised versus being nagged or threatened.
Food for thought:
If we know criticizing doesn’t work why do we keep doing it ourselves…? As my lovely business partner, Kristen, says: Would those comments in your head be the same thing you’d say to your best friend or mother?
What are 3 accomplishments you are proud of from the past year?
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- _____________________________________________
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What are 3 choices that you’re proud of from the last week?
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by Lucy | Dec 9, 2016 | Motivational Mondays
Monday, December 12, 2016
I have a client, we will call her Clare, and last week she told me how she is such a procrastinator after not implementing the evening exercise routine we discussed at her previous appointment. Clare works a desk job in Durham from 7:30 AM to 4:30 PM Monday-Friday. After work, she has a 30 minute commute home, a puppy to take outside, and dinner to fix for her elderly father. When finished with dinner, cleaning up, and getting ready for the next workday, Clare enjoys lounging on the sofa watching TV or visiting with her father. This is not the time of day she feels motivated to get up and start exercising!
Clare spent 4 weeks between appointments feeling guilty about not getting into the exercise routine we had planned. She continued to work hard monitoring her eating and portion sizes; however, all of that work was overshadowed in her mind by her lack of physical activity.
What went wrong?
We can see the exercise strategy we put together was not conducive to Clare’s lifestyle. The other underlying issue, that’s less obvious, is the story that played in her mind over those 4 weeks. Clare was convinced the only way she could be successful at exercise was to walk or do another activity that raised her heart rate for 30 consecutive minutes. In this scenario, Clare demonstrates a fixed mindset, meaning when she was not successful she could not think of other options that would work better for her. In our conversation, I gave Clare a gift – the gift of a growth mindset! Now she can use these barriers or “problems” as learning opportunities instead of brick walls that stop her from achieving her goals.
Food for thought
Have you been hitting your head against a brick wall?
Most of us have a personal or professional improvement goal, and sometimes all we see are the barriers keeping us from reaching that goal.
Today, take a moment to think of your barriers as learning opportunities instead of problems. What can you learn and do differently?
