by Lucy | Sep 7, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Last week I talked about gathering DATA when you start to have a craving. Did you try it? What’d you discover? If you didn’t get the chance to try it I want you to keep the idea in your back pocket so you’ll have it in case you need it! This week I want to elaborate on what you can do when you assess the situation and you find that you’re craving is really just a desire for something else. I want to share with you my personal experience with the “DATA” technique and then tell you about one of my favorite things to do next.
The discovery I made during my first WHOLE30…
I’ve always known that procrastination is a problem of mine but I never realized it was associated with what I choose to eat. It wasn’t until the whole30 that I started to pay attention to my food choices more closely than ever before. I knew that I craved chocolate at night. We all have a sweet tooth, right? I mean I come from a long line of chocoholics. Don’t most women? But I never really thought much about my cravings. It was just something that I accepted. I love chocolate. Period.
I discovered so much more. It wasn’t until I was in the midst of a whole30 adventure that I had this AHA moment. One of those…well, that was so obvious why didn’t I notice that before kind of moments.
Because I couldn’t just REACT and give in to my cravings, I was able to stop and bring light to what was behind them. I noticed that they would usually be around 8pm when the kids were finally in bed. Exhausted from the day, nothing sounded better than vegging out or grabbing a treat from the kitchen. I go to the kitchen and glance over at the sink full of the days dirty dishes, stacks of mail on the counter and a house full of toys cluttering the floor. Eek!
Diversion! Quick, I need a diversion! I’ll get a snack first before I tackle these messes. That’s the first thing my unconscious mind would say. Ahh..procrastination rears its ugly head. I was using food to procrastinate. Not cool.
But it was more than just procrastination. I would also be overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt for not having any desire to keep my house clean or keep up with chores. I should. I really should be a good housekeeper, wife, mom and just clean up so I can wake up to a nice and tidy home. But I really, really don’t want to! That was my inner dialogue. It was like a parent asking a child to do a simple task and a child throwing herself on the ground, wailing and whining about how much she doesn’t want to do what you’ve just asked. It was a true inner struggle. I know that I should be doing something productive and I felt so lazy for not wanting to do it.
Ha. And to think that until I was in the thick of my first whole30 experience I never thought twice about the reasons I craved chocolate. I just thought I craved it because it was delicious. But I can be really good at ignoring my feelings. It seems so simple in theory but actually realizing, naming and shining more light on your feelings is a true discipline. Mindfulness if you will.
Luckily at this same time I made this discovery, I was also reading the book Eating with Fierce Kindness, which is amazing by the way. Sasha T Loring calls us all to be our own friend and stop thinking so badly of ourselves. Let’s get rid of all the guilt and instead show ourselves a lot more compassion. So, I’ve been working on allowing myself time to rest at the end of the day if I need it and also trying to tackle chores before they get so out of hand and overwhelming. It’s a work in progress. And yes, I still love chocolate but I try to enjoy it when the time is right. Not to cover up some crazy feelings. Also, a work in progress.
Once you make your own discovery it helps to get curious about it. Here is my favorite way to think about and sort through what’s behind a craving. I write out a Shitty First Draft or SFD. It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a chance to simply write out what’s on your mind without any judgments or hesitation. Anne Lamott, the gal behind the SFD concept, says “just let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later….just get it all down on paper.”
Anne’s advice is geared toward writers but Brene Brown, one of my favorite authors, encourages everyone to create a SFD in regular everyday moments. She calls us to question the stories we make up in our heads and to be curious about our emotions. In her SFDs she writes out these 6 things and then fills in the blanks:
- The story I’m making up is.. (watch Brene talk about this more)
- My emotions..
- My body..
- My thinking..
- My beliefs…
- My actions…
Use this tool in addition to the DATA technique and to help you sort through those things that lie behind the cravings. I wonder what discoveries you might make? Next time you are experiencing a craving or even just feeling uncomfortable and vunerable give these two techniques a try.
by Lucy | Sep 1, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Last week I talked about treating yourself when the time is right. Today, I follow up on something I mentioned at the end of that blog. I said that I didn’t want to struggle with the sugar dragon every night, aka my sweet tooth. Well, my friends, this is something I am still working on, but I have a secret weapon. I invite you to use this awesome mindful eating tool that can help you manage your cravings. I will also share some strategies that have helped me cut out a lot of sugar.
What Causes Cravings for Sweets?
Many things can trigger cravings. It can be a result of an unbalanced diet. For example, not eating an adequate amount of protein or fat at meals can result in late night snacking. Lucy talks about this in her account of how she broke up with sugar here. Cravings can also be habitually or emotionally driven.
Here we will discuss the habitual and emotional drivers of cravings and share a mindful eating tool for keeping cravings in check. Sugar cravings can be fierce and unrelenting, that’s why I like to refer to my sweet tooth as the sugar dragon. It creeps in your head and demands sweets. It breathes down your neck until it gets something yummy and sweet.
Think about the times your cravings usually occur. Cravings hit when you’ve sat at a desk way too long. Maybe they come when you are alone and bored on the weekends or when you are frustrated, stuck, or exhausted at the end of the day.
We may not recognize these feelings at first, but when the sugar dragon pops up it’s often because something is going on underneath the surface, making us feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. Cravings hit during the times when we feel bored, lonely, tired or vulnerable. In an effort to protect ourselves, our brain will try to divert us from those uncomfortable feelings.
Sugary treats are often readily available at any turn, easy to obtain, only take a minute or two to eat, and they make us feel good almost immediately (although only momentarily). No wonder turning to sugar in one form or the other is a natural habit to pick up. It feels so good that our brain decides we should do that more often. The only trouble is using sugar as a solution isn’t going to help you in the long run.
How do you manage or stop cravings?
To conquer cravings and formed habits, we must retrain our brain. Breaking the habit and fighting the cravings takes awareness and intention. The mindfulness tool below will help you with those two things. Next time the sugar dragon taunts you, instead of immediately complying take a moment to stop and gather some DATA (Describe, Accept, Time, and Assess)…
- Describe the moment to yourself. Where are you? What are you doing? What just happened? What are you feeling? What do you need? What are you thinking? What story are you telling yourself?
- Accept it all for what it is and sit with any discomfort. When doing this, treat yourself like you would your best friend. That means no shaming, blaming, or demeaning yourself for anything. Know that it is okay to be feeling this emotion and show yourself compassion.
- Take time to turn away from the craving and if uncomfortable feelings are under the surface think about what you truly need to process those. You could journal your thoughts, do some coloring, go on a walk, call a friend, tidy up a room, pray or meditate. You can come back to the craving in 10-20 minutes.
- After taking time away, you can now assess your craving and make a deliberate decision rather than an impulsive one. You might still choose to eat something, or you might notice that whatever you did to turn away from the craving lessened the desire to fix the problem with sweets. Perhaps you realize you simply need some sleep, to talk through your feelings, to show yourself some compassion or choose a non-food way to self-soothe.
My challenge to you is to try this tool this week. I’ve done this exercise a few times throughout both of my whole30 experiences and continue to use it when cravings arise. I’ve learned a lot from pausing before reacting. Let me know how it goes for you and what you learn from implementing this mindfulness tool for managing sugar cravings.
What other ways can you stop sugar cravings?
Here are five other ideas to help you cut back on sweets and sugar.
- Be sure you are getting enough protein and healthy fats at each meal.
- Include fruit in your meal so you can end on a naturally sweet note
- Drink a tall glass of ice water perhaps with lemon or a chilled glass of coconut water. Sometimes hydration can ward off a sweet tooth.
- Brush your teeth. Often times, we crave sweet food because we can still taste our dinner. A clean mouth feels excellent and can signal that you are done eating.
- Don’t keep desserts in the house or at eye-sight, especially if you are an abstainer – read more about this in Are you an abstainer or moderator?
by Lucy | Aug 29, 2016 | Motivational Mondays
| “We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer |
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Sometimes as proud, busy, schedules-filling Americans, we are more concerned with being productive, instead of living the good life.
Last week, I was very in touch with all of my earthly possessions (especially since they are scattered about my floor in the new apartment). I was reminded that life is about more than making money and acquiring more things. In the light of an earthquake in Italy and flooding in Louisiana, life is about much more than our earthly possessions and status.
There is a lot of pleasure and joy to be found in experiences. Simple experiences such as a pleasant dinner with your family, going to play at the pool, accidentally stumbling upon a free outdoor concert, or getting an ice cream cone on a warm summer night.
Clearly, it is necessary to make money in order to keep a roof over your head and food on the table, but perhaps there is more opportunity to simply enjoy life?
I believe this concept is well summed up by Dr. Wayne Dyer in an excerpt from Change Your Thoughts to Change Your Life:
“Be a good animal and move freely, unencumbered with thoughts about where you should be and how you should be acting. For instance, imagine yourself as an otter just living your “otterness.” You’re not good or bad, beautiful or ugly, a hard worker or a slacker… You’re simply an otter, moving through the water or on the land freely, peacefully, playfully and without judgments.”
Food for thought:
Take a moment to be present today. Notice a beautiful flower or delight in a pleasant conversation at the office.
As a client reminded me last week, “After all, doing nothing is one of the best parts of being human.”
Recipe of the Week: CrockPot Thai Steak Salad
With back-to-school routines on the mind, we all need a little more help in the kitchen. That’s where the slow cooker comes in handy!
Normally, we think CrockPots are for cold weather… Put the tender cooked steak with a peanut-hoisein sauce on chopped greens and bam! You’ve got a yummy summer-time dinner.
This week’s recipe, CrockPot Thai Steak Salad is brought to you by thefoodcharlatan.com.
by Lucy | Aug 24, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Life is too short to not treat ourselves, especially in those really special, not-going-to-happen-everyday moments. Gretchen Rubin, author of Better Than Before, is a big fan of “treats” and so am I! She says that a treat can be anything that makes you happy. It can be a new book, extra time to meditate, a phone call with a pal or of course a yummy food or drink.
The key to treating ourselves in a well-balanced manner is to not let food treats creep into our everyday moments. This is tricky, right?? It is really easy to get in the habit of ending every meal with something sweet. I like how Eve Schaub puts it in her book Year of No Sugar. She says something along the lines of ‘not eating dessert after dinner feels like going to a movie and leaving right before the happy ending.’ Can you relate? Yep, me too. Eating a sweet after every meal is a hard habit to break but it’s an important one to think about.
Melissa Hartwig, creator of the whole30 program has a good rule of thumb. She calls it the one bite rule and it basically means don’t be afraid to stop at one bite if that food isn’t all that you thought it was cracked up to be. She says, “the only reason to indulge in a less healthy treat in the first place is if it’s so incredibly, deliciously worth it that you’re willing to accept the less healthy consequences as a trade-off for getting romantic with this treat.”
So for me those (two) s’mores that I ate were totally worth it! I savored every bite and took in the moment! And I loved watching my 3 year old do the same!! But I don’t want to reintroduce the sugar dragon in my life on a nightly basis. I sleep better and feel better without it.
So….here are some questions for you to ponder….
1. What makes you happy? What one considers a treat, may not be what you consider a treat. So knowing yourself is important! Make a list of at least 3 things that make you happy.
2. Which food treats are super special and worth every calorie? Is it your momma’s homemade pumpkin pie? Is it a latte from your favorite coffee shop that you enjoy with a friend? What makes them special to you?
3. What foods are you eating regularly that you could really pass up? Store bought cookies? Ice cream after dinner every night? Stale doughnuts at the office? Do they really taste good? Are they really special?
4. What non-food treats can you enjoy more often?
by Lucy | Aug 22, 2016 | Motivational Mondays
if nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies
Stuff! Stuff everywhere! It’s moving week, and I’m not a huge fan of change.
As the story goes, when I attended preschool, it came time to transition from pre-K to kindergarten and I did not handle myself with grace and kindness.
Back then, when a child was acting out the teachers would give the child a bear hug from behind to help calm them down. Here comes five-year-old Lucy acting out because she had to switch schools, make new friends, adopt a new routine, and get used to new teachers – all in the same week! So I kind of freaked out.
The caring and brave teacher comes up and gives me a bear hug from behind, wrapping her arms around my arms and body with the hope of calming me down. Instead, this seemed to make matters worse so I bit the teacher. My mom will confirm I was not regularly biting people. Needless to say, this story goes down in history as a preliminary example of how I handle change.
I am proud to report that I have not bitten anyone all week! Below you’ll find some ideas for your own well-balanced transition back into the school year.
Strategies for Managing Change and Getting Back into a Groove:
- Put first things first. In a move, our family’s rule of thumb is to unpack the kitchen, the bathroom, and the bedroom first. When you have food to eat, a place to wash up, a bed to sleep and clothes on your back you are okay. If you aren’t unpacking but still in midst of a change, consider focusing on keeping these areas tidy and ready for your new routine.
- Ease back into it. When starting a new routine, consider doing a few practice rounds of going to bed earlier, packing lunches the night before and taking those 5-10 minutes of meditation or prayer time during the day to center yourself.
- Practice gratitude. In times of change I often start to feel a “not wanting” sensation – not wanting to unpack boxes, not wanting to deal with the change of address situation, etc. This is the mind’s natural tendency to resist change. Whenever I noticed this coming over me I stop and think of 5 things I’m grateful for.
- Don’t forget the magical power of list making to keep you on track. From my awesome brother-in-law, Jamie “Wunderlist is good for general list keeping. We share a couple of lists like the Home Depot and pre-vacation list.We use AnyList for food shopping. It lets you keep a list of favorites for quick staples shopping and you can create recipe lists which allow you to add all items for a specific dish. And it will put stuff into categories like Produce, Frozen, Meat, Canned Goods, etc.”
Food for thought:
The only constant in life is change.
Whether it’s a change by your design or by a greater power, let us view these as opportunities to reset and become more well-balanced.
