by Lucy | Sep 22, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Have you ever felt STUCK? You know, those times when you can’t catch a break, bad things are happening left and right, and it feels like you are just being sucked into quicksand. Maybe it feels like you are surrounded by muck, grime, goo, creepy bugs, hissing snakes, and every other kind of terrible thing. Sometimes life feels like you are stuck in a swamp.
I call it the Shrek syndrome.
You can’t even see what’s a few feet in front of you because your vision is so blurred from the negativity gnats flying around your head. I’ve been there before and I know it’s really easy to stay in that place… stuck and sinking further. I also know that it is possible to dredge your way out. How? Here is what worked for me…
We can’t ignore the stress in our lives but we can change the way we think about it.
When the Shrek syndrome comes on, approach the unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. It’s not easy but the more you can turn your outlook around the faster you can get out of that nasty swamp.
I was able to stop being an Ogre when I started shining light on the things that hadn’t gone wrong… right down to the air that was filling my lungs. I know it may sound cheesy but it’s a PROVEN STRATGEY. Positive thinking has been linked to an increased life span, lower rates of depression, lower levels of distress and even greater resistance to the common cold.
Your homework: Choose at least one to try this week.
PRACTICAL WAYS TO SHINE LIGHT ON THE GOOD AND GET OUT OF THE SWAMP
Gratitude journal – daily, weekly or whatever – simply jot down the things for which you are thankful. Think… what if you woke up today with only the things you expressed gratitude for yesterday?
Positive Self Talk – We often say things about ourselves that we would never say to others. STOP DOING THAT! Place a positive affirmation somewhere that prompts you to read it out loud every day. My favorite? You are enough. And at the end of the day: You did enough. You deserve rest.
Keep a monthly log of accomplishments and hard efforts. Try a new vegetable? Jot it down! Meditate in a difficult situation. It goes in the log too! If you tried hard at something, regardless of whether you fully succeeded or not, that’s important. Both successes and efforts get credit here.
Change your perspective: Instead of saying, I’ve never done this before,” say “It’s an opportunity to learn something new.” Instead of saying, “It’s too complicated,” say “I’ll try from a different angle.”
What do you do to shake the Shrek syndrome??
by Lucy | Sep 14, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Back in July, I challenged my friend Ireatha Warren to complete a whole30 challenge with me. It is not an easy challenge so naturally, it took her some time to warm up to the idea. At first, she questioned her ability to do it. Then, she realized that it was a matter of mindset. “I stopped doubting myself and just started saying I can do this.”
Once she made her mind up, she was all in. For 30 days Ireatha made significant changes to what she ate and drank and she found it to be a powerful experience. She switched out her normal breakfast (oatmeal, cereal or a ham and egg biscuit) with 2 boiled eggs and 2 pieces of bacon. She swapped out starchy snacks like popcorn and granola bars for things like nuts and fruit. One of the hardest parts for Ireatha? She said it was giving up the fried chicken but she enjoyed baked chicken as long as it was seasoned well.
I am so proud of my friend for completing the challenge with me. She lost weight, has more energy, and receives a ton of compliments now. She is another great example that believing in ourselves can play a major role in our success.
Keeping a positive mindset and getting started is one thing. Making a smooth transition and navigating back to more liberal ways can be a whole different struggle. 
Once the challenge is over you don’t want to just fall back into all your old ways, yet you desire a little more freedom after being so strict. How do you do it? I loved Ireatha’s thoughts: “I asked myself what are three things that I can take away from this experience and apply to my life after the challenge.” She went on to explain which changes seemed to make the biggest impact and therefore made the most sense to keep doing.
- Breakfast: She realized how important eating a good breakfast was for her. She feels her best when she eats protein-rich foods in the morning like eggs and chicken. She found that it decreased her need to snack in the afternoon and that she was able to eat a smaller dinner.
- Reading labels: She learned to pay attention to ALL parts of the food label and not just how many grams of sugar a food contains.
- Fruits and vegetables: “When you eat enough fruits and vegetables you really do feel better, and you don’t need extra snacks.” she said.
I think we can also learn from her insight on how to proceed after you finish a challenge: stick with 3 things that made a big impact.
Food For Thought and a little homework:
The whole30 challenge is eye opening, but you don’t always need to go to such extremes to learn things about yourself or improve your eating habits. 
What areas in your life would benefit from a positive mindset?
List three things that you’ve learned about your body and the nutrition it needs through previous experiences. Perhaps you can start by completing this sentence. I feel my best when…
by Lucy | Sep 7, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Last week I talked about gathering DATA when you start to have a craving. Did you try it? What’d you discover? If you didn’t get the chance to try it I want you to keep the idea in your back pocket so you’ll have it in case you need it! This week I want to elaborate on what you can do when you assess the situation and you find that you’re craving is really just a desire for something else. I want to share with you my personal experience with the “DATA” technique and then tell you about one of my favorite things to do next.
The discovery I made during my first WHOLE30…
I’ve always known that procrastination is a problem of mine but I never realized it was associated with what I choose to eat. It wasn’t until the whole30 that I started to pay attention to my food choices more closely than ever before. I knew that I craved chocolate at night. We all have a sweet tooth, right? I mean I come from a long line of chocoholics. Don’t most women? But I never really thought much about my cravings. It was just something that I accepted. I love chocolate. Period.
I discovered so much more. It wasn’t until I was in the midst of a whole30 adventure that I had this AHA moment. One of those…well, that was so obvious why didn’t I notice that before kind of moments.
Because I couldn’t just REACT and give in to my cravings, I was able to stop and bring light to what was behind them. I noticed that they would usually be around 8pm when the kids were finally in bed. Exhausted from the day, nothing sounded better than vegging out or grabbing a treat from the kitchen. I go to the kitchen and glance over at the sink full of the days dirty dishes, stacks of mail on the counter and a house full of toys cluttering the floor. Eek!
Diversion! Quick, I need a diversion! I’ll get a snack first before I tackle these messes. That’s the first thing my unconscious mind would say. Ahh..procrastination rears its ugly head. I was using food to procrastinate. Not cool.
But it was more than just procrastination. I would also be overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt for not having any desire to keep my house clean or keep up with chores. I should. I really should be a good housekeeper, wife, mom and just clean up so I can wake up to a nice and tidy home. But I really, really don’t want to! That was my inner dialogue. It was like a parent asking a child to do a simple task and a child throwing herself on the ground, wailing and whining about how much she doesn’t want to do what you’ve just asked. It was a true inner struggle. I know that I should be doing something productive and I felt so lazy for not wanting to do it.
Ha. And to think that until I was in the thick of my first whole30 experience I never thought twice about the reasons I craved chocolate. I just thought I craved it because it was delicious. But I can be really good at ignoring my feelings. It seems so simple in theory but actually realizing, naming and shining more light on your feelings is a true discipline. Mindfulness if you will.
Luckily at this same time I made this discovery, I was also reading the book Eating with Fierce Kindness, which is amazing by the way. Sasha T Loring calls us all to be our own friend and stop thinking so badly of ourselves. Let’s get rid of all the guilt and instead show ourselves a lot more compassion. So, I’ve been working on allowing myself time to rest at the end of the day if I need it and also trying to tackle chores before they get so out of hand and overwhelming. It’s a work in progress. And yes, I still love chocolate but I try to enjoy it when the time is right. Not to cover up some crazy feelings. Also, a work in progress.
Once you make your own discovery it helps to get curious about it. Here is my favorite way to think about and sort through what’s behind a craving. I write out a Shitty First Draft or SFD. It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a chance to simply write out what’s on your mind without any judgments or hesitation. Anne Lamott, the gal behind the SFD concept, says “just let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later….just get it all down on paper.”
Anne’s advice is geared toward writers but Brene Brown, one of my favorite authors, encourages everyone to create a SFD in regular everyday moments. She calls us to question the stories we make up in our heads and to be curious about our emotions. In her SFDs she writes out these 6 things and then fills in the blanks:
- The story I’m making up is.. (watch Brene talk about this more)
- My emotions..
- My body..
- My thinking..
- My beliefs…
- My actions…
Use this tool in addition to the DATA technique and to help you sort through those things that lie behind the cravings. I wonder what discoveries you might make? Next time you are experiencing a craving or even just feeling uncomfortable and vunerable give these two techniques a try.
by Lucy | Sep 1, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Last week I talked about treating yourself when the time is right. Today, I follow up on something I mentioned at the end of that blog. I said that I didn’t want to struggle with the sugar dragon every night, aka my sweet tooth. Well, my friends, this is something I am still working on, but I have a secret weapon. I invite you to use this awesome mindful eating tool that can help you manage your cravings. I will also share some strategies that have helped me cut out a lot of sugar.
What Causes Cravings for Sweets?
Many things can trigger cravings. It can be a result of an unbalanced diet. For example, not eating an adequate amount of protein or fat at meals can result in late night snacking. Lucy talks about this in her account of how she broke up with sugar here. Cravings can also be habitually or emotionally driven.
Here we will discuss the habitual and emotional drivers of cravings and share a mindful eating tool for keeping cravings in check. Sugar cravings can be fierce and unrelenting, that’s why I like to refer to my sweet tooth as the sugar dragon. It creeps in your head and demands sweets. It breathes down your neck until it gets something yummy and sweet.
Think about the times your cravings usually occur. Cravings hit when you’ve sat at a desk way too long. Maybe they come when you are alone and bored on the weekends or when you are frustrated, stuck, or exhausted at the end of the day.
We may not recognize these feelings at first, but when the sugar dragon pops up it’s often because something is going on underneath the surface, making us feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. Cravings hit during the times when we feel bored, lonely, tired or vulnerable. In an effort to protect ourselves, our brain will try to divert us from those uncomfortable feelings.
Sugary treats are often readily available at any turn, easy to obtain, only take a minute or two to eat, and they make us feel good almost immediately (although only momentarily). No wonder turning to sugar in one form or the other is a natural habit to pick up. It feels so good that our brain decides we should do that more often. The only trouble is using sugar as a solution isn’t going to help you in the long run.
How do you manage or stop cravings?
To conquer cravings and formed habits, we must retrain our brain. Breaking the habit and fighting the cravings takes awareness and intention. The mindfulness tool below will help you with those two things. Next time the sugar dragon taunts you, instead of immediately complying take a moment to stop and gather some DATA (Describe, Accept, Time, and Assess)…
- Describe the moment to yourself. Where are you? What are you doing? What just happened? What are you feeling? What do you need? What are you thinking? What story are you telling yourself?
- Accept it all for what it is and sit with any discomfort. When doing this, treat yourself like you would your best friend. That means no shaming, blaming, or demeaning yourself for anything. Know that it is okay to be feeling this emotion and show yourself compassion.
- Take time to turn away from the craving and if uncomfortable feelings are under the surface think about what you truly need to process those. You could journal your thoughts, do some coloring, go on a walk, call a friend, tidy up a room, pray or meditate. You can come back to the craving in 10-20 minutes.
- After taking time away, you can now assess your craving and make a deliberate decision rather than an impulsive one. You might still choose to eat something, or you might notice that whatever you did to turn away from the craving lessened the desire to fix the problem with sweets. Perhaps you realize you simply need some sleep, to talk through your feelings, to show yourself some compassion or choose a non-food way to self-soothe.
My challenge to you is to try this tool this week. I’ve done this exercise a few times throughout both of my whole30 experiences and continue to use it when cravings arise. I’ve learned a lot from pausing before reacting. Let me know how it goes for you and what you learn from implementing this mindfulness tool for managing sugar cravings.
What other ways can you stop sugar cravings?
Here are five other ideas to help you cut back on sweets and sugar.
- Be sure you are getting enough protein and healthy fats at each meal.
- Include fruit in your meal so you can end on a naturally sweet note
- Drink a tall glass of ice water perhaps with lemon or a chilled glass of coconut water. Sometimes hydration can ward off a sweet tooth.
- Brush your teeth. Often times, we crave sweet food because we can still taste our dinner. A clean mouth feels excellent and can signal that you are done eating.
- Don’t keep desserts in the house or at eye-sight, especially if you are an abstainer – read more about this in Are you an abstainer or moderator?
by Lucy | Aug 24, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Life is too short to not treat ourselves, especially in those really special, not-going-to-happen-everyday moments. Gretchen Rubin, author of Better Than Before, is a big fan of “treats” and so am I! She says that a treat can be anything that makes you happy. It can be a new book, extra time to meditate, a phone call with a pal or of course a yummy food or drink.
The key to treating ourselves in a well-balanced manner is to not let food treats creep into our everyday moments. This is tricky, right?? It is really easy to get in the habit of ending every meal with something sweet. I like how Eve Schaub puts it in her book Year of No Sugar. She says something along the lines of ‘not eating dessert after dinner feels like going to a movie and leaving right before the happy ending.’ Can you relate? Yep, me too. Eating a sweet after every meal is a hard habit to break but it’s an important one to think about.
Melissa Hartwig, creator of the whole30 program has a good rule of thumb. She calls it the one bite rule and it basically means don’t be afraid to stop at one bite if that food isn’t all that you thought it was cracked up to be. She says, “the only reason to indulge in a less healthy treat in the first place is if it’s so incredibly, deliciously worth it that you’re willing to accept the less healthy consequences as a trade-off for getting romantic with this treat.”
So for me those (two) s’mores that I ate were totally worth it! I savored every bite and took in the moment! And I loved watching my 3 year old do the same!! But I don’t want to reintroduce the sugar dragon in my life on a nightly basis. I sleep better and feel better without it.
So….here are some questions for you to ponder….
1. What makes you happy? What one considers a treat, may not be what you consider a treat. So knowing yourself is important! Make a list of at least 3 things that make you happy.
2. Which food treats are super special and worth every calorie? Is it your momma’s homemade pumpkin pie? Is it a latte from your favorite coffee shop that you enjoy with a friend? What makes them special to you?
3. What foods are you eating regularly that you could really pass up? Store bought cookies? Ice cream after dinner every night? Stale doughnuts at the office? Do they really taste good? Are they really special?
4. What non-food treats can you enjoy more often?
by Lucy | Aug 17, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
It’s 8pm. My husband is working the late shift. I just put the kids to bed. It was far from the peaceful scene I once pictured in my head before having kids. You know… sweet snuggles, fun bubble baths and sweet hugs and kisses before I leave the room. Don’t get me wrong there was some of that but not without plenty of struggles. Like the sprinting after my child who is running from me the moment I mention bath time, the frantic ‘oh crap where’d the paci go’ search, the argument over which pajamas to put on (the clean ones or the ones she has worn 5x in a row already), the shame from losing my temper, the cries for attention when I only have 2 hands and 1 lap, and the long lasting pleading, screaming, whiny finale I hear when I finally say, “it’s time to go to bed.”
Sigh. I close the door. While I still hear crying I walk down the stairs and look around at my messy house. I see dishes to do, toys to clean, emails to return, projects to work on…. ugh..I just can’t. It’s too much and I feel like I just ran a marathon! So, I open the pantry and I treat myself to some cookies. Just one more. And another. I can’t stop. Oh look… the package is gone. This is embarrassing.
Hello. My name is Kristen and I am a recovering perfectionist. I never thought I would admit to overindulging in a moment of weakness. To start out my blog post telling you about the far from perfect bedtime scene in my house. But I can share this with you now because I’ve learned to have compassion for myself, to realize that I’m only human, to look at my failures as lessons and to not let my failures define me.
Turns out that a requirement for being a human is to be imperfect. Which means FAILING is just part of the whole process. Well-balanced eating (and well-balanced living for that matter) is not fail proof because at the end of the day no matter what plan we decide to follow we are only human and this is real life.
Too often we expect the journey to be picture perfect and we don’t plan 
for the struggles. It doesn’t matter the number of mistakes, slips, failures – no matter what you call them – that you have, it’s how you embrace them and what you do next that matter the most. Lucy and I like to call them LESSONS because there is always something you can learn or a way you can grow from something not going the way you hoped. We can get a lot further if we embrace the struggle, have compassion for ourselves and never let our set-backs define us. Learn, love, grow and keep on, keeping on. What “lessons” have you learned lately?
Here is some food for thought:
What areas in your life did you imagine to be picture perfect?
What mistakes, slips, failures in your life can you embrace a little more? What lessons can you learn?
Do you beat yourself up for making mistakes? What can you do to show yourself more compassion when you mess up? (Journaling and positive affirmations work wonders for me!)
Are you letting your mistakes define you or hold you back? Instead, what can you do to grow?
