Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. – Brene Brown
I’ve learned a lot about boundaries in the past 3 1/2 years. When my daughter was born I discovered just how much your heart can love a tiny human. Naturally, I want to give her the world and I want her to be happy. Now more than ever, she has been testing her limits and pushing her boundaries as three-year-olds do. In those trying moments, I want to give in to her desires just to make her happy. Yet, I know avoiding temporary disappointments will only lead to long-term consequences.
If I let my little girl do whatever she wanted, she’d miss out on opportunities to develop life skills like learning how to share, be a friend, follow directions, and get along with others. On the other hand, if I’m too strict with her, she might not learn to think on her own, her confidence could suffer and she might grow to resent me. The sweet spot is right in the middle where loving boundaries exist.
A boundary is simply a line drawn between what is okay and not okay. While I’m in the thick of establishing these loving boundaries as a parent, I realize how important this concept is for our health and wellness goals as well. We have to determine for ourselves what is okay and not okay to preserve our health in the long-run.
For example, one of my clients has recently entered a new relationship. She realized upfront that she could easily get swept up in other things if she didn’t define what was important to her now. She knew that getting a good workout in at least 3 times a week kept her mentally and physically feeling her best. So now that she has this boundary set in her mind, it becomes easier to choose the gym even when other opportunities arise. She’s choosing to focus on the greater, long-term results of loving herself, instead of focusing on what would make everyone happy in the moment.
The holiday season is a time when we could all really stand to set loving boundaries. It is so easy to worry about disappointing others that we often forget to care for ourselves. Setting boundaries can be the most loving thing we do for ourselves this time of year. Your boundaries can help guide your decisions and make it easier to stay true to yourself through the hustle and bustle.
Food for thought:
Boundaries are a function of self-love and self-respect. – Brene Brown
What boundaries will you set for yourself?
Monday, November 21, 2016
Inspiration. Lately I’ve developed a habit of enjoying my morning coffee break with inspirational YouTube videos. It started with Dr. Wayne Dyer, then I discovered more gems by Evan Carmichael featuring the Maya Angelou Top 10 Rules for Success. As one of my favorite sayings goes, “inspiration without action is just entertainment.” Therefore, I strive to connect their wisdom to my journey and apply it to the health and wellness message we bring to our Well-Balanced Tribe.
The first tip by Maya Angelou stuck with me all week as it reminds us to “just do right!” This can be applied to all facets of life – from how you treat a disgruntled coworker (with loving-kindness!), to deciding what to do for dinner.
I’ve mentioned before I used to be a nailbiter, and I am proud to say now I don’t bite my nails most of time. There is the occasional moments I catch myself and hear Mama Cathy’s most loving nag voice of “quit biting your nails!” When I’m doing right that includes regularly clipping my fingernails, painting with a color or clear nail polish and staying mindful of moments I feel tempted to start nibbling.
I had a client last week who is working on making more well-balanced meals for her family. She’s rediscovered the plethora of options using her crockpot – hooray Pinterest! Unfortunately, now she worries if she should be buying organic? And what about the effects of soybeans on men and young children? And how about the canned cream of mushroom soup, isn’t that really bad for you? Instead of worrying, I suggested this client to continue making those 3 dinners a week and she aims to ‘do right’ by including at least 1 vegetable with dinner.
We are all at a different stage in the journey of living healthy and well-balanced. Doing right for you may be not ordering French fries with the spicy chicken sandwich at Wendy’s. Or doing right means taking time on Sunday afternoon to chop veggies for dinner during the week. Or taking time to review the action plan checklist each day to see if you accomplished the wellness goals you set.
Food for thought:
I want you each to feel proud of the steps you’ve taken to be well. It’s a journey (marathon, not a spirit, for the runners out there).
What did you do right last week? _________________________________
We are proud of you too! Keep up the good work 
.
Y’all it’s finally happened… I’ve been in the south long enough that I developed a taste for cooked greens and bacon. So yummy! Below is a recipe I’ve modified from Martha Stewart and my friend, Culley.
Lucy’s Favorite Collards w/ Bacon!
Ingredients
- 2 bunches collard greens, stemmed
- 3 teaspoons vegetable oil
- 1/2 red onion, sliced
- 3 slices bacon, cut crosswise into 1/4-inch strips
- 2 tablespoons cider vinegar
- 1 cup homemade or low-sodium store-bought chicken stock
- 1 tsp red pepper flakes
- 1 Tbsp molasses
Directions
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Working in batches, stack greens; cut crosswise into 2-inch-thick strips. Gather strips; cut crosswise into 2-inch pieces. Transfer to a large bowl of cold water; swish to remove grit. Transfer greens to a colander using a slotted spoon; let drain. Repeat until greens are free of grit.
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Heat oil in a very large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and bacon; cook until onions are translucent, about 4 minutes. Add greens; cook, stirring, until greens begin to wilt and are reduced in volume.
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Raise heat to high; add vinegar. Cook, scraping up brown bits from bottom of skillet, until vinegar has evaporated, about 1 minute.
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Add stock, red pepper flakes and molasses; reduce heat. Simmer, covered, until greens are just tender, 12 to 14 minutes. If making ahead, refrigerate, covered; reheat over low heat.
- 2 bunches collard greens stemmed
- 3 teaspoons vegetable oil
- 1/2 red onion sliced
- 3 slices bacon cut crosswise into 1/4-inch strips
- 2 tablespoons cider vinegar
- 1 cup homemade or low-sodium store-bought chicken stock
- 1 tsp red pepper flakes
- 1 Tbsp molasses
Working in batches, stack greens; cut crosswise into 2-inch-thick strips. Gather strips; cut crosswise into 2-inch pieces. Transfer to a large bowl of cold water; swish to remove grit. Transfer greens to a colander using a slotted spoon; let drain. Repeat until greens are free of grit.
Heat oil in a very large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and bacon; cook until onions are translucent, about 4 minutes. Add greens; cook, stirring, until greens begin to wilt and are reduced in volume.
Raise heat to high; add vinegar. Cook, scraping up brown bits from bottom of skillet, until vinegar has evaporated, about 1 minute.
Add stock, red pepper flakes and molasses; reduce heat. Simmer, covered, until greens are just tender, 12 to 14 minutes. If making ahead, refrigerate, covered; reheat over low heat.
Awh..the season for feasting is here. There is a good chance you will be eating some turkey, gravy, rolls, stuffing and all the things to go along with it soon. YUM!! Who is excited for the yummy food?! (Me!) I could go on about how to be mindful, eat a well-balanced turkey dinner, avoid overeating but let’s face it…. Thanksgiving is about celebrating our food! Dare I say it but… I think it’s okay to overindulge a bit at your Thanksgiving meal.
Perhaps the most important thing is what you do afterward. Here’s what I plan to do after the feasting is done.
- Get outside and move! One year I did a turkey trot walk/run the morning of Thanksgiving. Another year my family walked around Duke’s campus after eating our meal. This year I’m gonna #OptOutside! Will you join me? Let’s say no to the long lines and madness of shopping and say yes to nature!! We’ll be posting pictures of us opting outside on our Facebook page. We wanna see your nature selfies too! Post them with the hashtag #OptOuside and #wellbalancednutrition
- Go green! Leftovers are awesome. We will likely have plenty of turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls and pie left after it’s all said and done! It’s really easy to over-do it if we don’t balance them out with some fruits and veggies. I am planning to buy a variety of greens and fruit to eat alongside the remaining foods from the turkey day spread.
- Eat breakfast. When you overeat a bit on Thanksgiving, skipping breakfast that morning or the next day may seem like a reasonable thing to do but it’s not wise. I will keep my metabolism going with a small and healthy morning meal such as eggs and fruit.
There you have it, folks! Those are my plans. What will you do? Comment below and let us know or let us know on Facebook.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Ya’ll!!
Monday, November 14, 2016
Whoa! We made it!
We’re on the other side of November 8th and no matter how you felt when you woke up November 9th I’ve been thinking we all need a bit more love and kindness.
A few months ago I went to a talk at the City of Durham and our City Manager spoke about the philosophy they share with their employees. It’s three parts, starting with taking care of yourself; then taking care of work/life responsibilities and finally taking care of the community. I love this! It directly lines up with what we teach at Well-Balanced Nutrition. First and foremost, all of us need to take care of ourselves. Last week, I had a client who was trying to give from an empty cup – see What fills your cup? – and as a result her mental and physical health are declining with poor sleep, high blood pressure, weight gain and elevated stress hormones.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer reminds us we cannot give away that which we do not possess. For example, you promise someone a bag of oranges, if you don’t already have oranges at home you would have to go to the store and buy them. To share love and kindness with your friends, family and community you must start by loving and being kind to yourself. Some do this by staying connected to their source, God. While others find more connection in nature or other outlets.
In an effort to help myself, and everyone in my life, I spend time practicing a loving-kindness meditation or exercise as I walk through the woods, which I shared below. This gives me peace and gratitude while I use energy to send love first to myself, then my loved ones. Ultimately, extending this loving-kindness to someone I find difficult to love. Maybe it’s a politician, a group of people with different beliefs and more violent lifestyles or a coworker who causes stress or anxiety.
Food for thought:
I invite each of you to join me in 5 to 10 minutes of this loving-kindness exercise today.
Caution: Doing this exercise will make you feel happy and peaceful.
Loving-Kindness
Shared by: Ann Thornton
(Say aloud preferably, but you can speak it silently)
Loving kindness to [your name]
Repeat 3 times
May [your name] be happy, free from worry and pain
Repeat 3 times
May [your name] have the strength, courage, hope, and faith to meet and overcome the difficulties in her/his life.
Repeat 3 times
Next replace your name with names of your close loved ones, then you can pick the names of others you want to send loving kindness. Last, replace your name with someone you may be having difficulties with or trouble understanding.
You will soon memorize the phrases and the words will come naturally.
I was taught not to say them with strong emotions, but rather just calmly repeat them.
