by Lucy | Nov 13, 2016 | Motivational Mondays
Monday, November 14, 2016
Whoa! We made it!
We’re on the other side of November 8th and no matter how you felt when you woke up November 9th I’ve been thinking we all need a bit more love and kindness.
A few months ago I went to a talk at the City of Durham and our City Manager spoke about the philosophy they share with their employees. It’s three parts, starting with taking care of yourself; then taking care of work/life responsibilities and finally taking care of the community. I love this! It directly lines up with what we teach at Well-Balanced Nutrition. First and foremost, all of us need to take care of ourselves. Last week, I had a client who was trying to give from an empty cup – see What fills your cup? – and as a result her mental and physical health are declining with poor sleep, high blood pressure, weight gain and elevated stress hormones.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer reminds us we cannot give away that which we do not possess. For example, you promise someone a bag of oranges, if you don’t already have oranges at home you would have to go to the store and buy them. To share love and kindness with your friends, family and community you must start by loving and being kind to yourself. Some do this by staying connected to their source, God. While others find more connection in nature or other outlets.
In an effort to help myself, and everyone in my life, I spend time practicing a loving-kindness meditation or exercise as I walk through the woods, which I shared below. This gives me peace and gratitude while I use energy to send love first to myself, then my loved ones. Ultimately, extending this loving-kindness to someone I find difficult to love. Maybe it’s a politician, a group of people with different beliefs and more violent lifestyles or a coworker who causes stress or anxiety.
Food for thought:
I invite each of you to join me in 5 to 10 minutes of this loving-kindness exercise today.
Caution: Doing this exercise will make you feel happy and peaceful.
Loving-Kindness
Shared by: Ann Thornton
(Say aloud preferably, but you can speak it silently)
Loving kindness to [your name]
Repeat 3 times
May [your name] be happy, free from worry and pain
Repeat 3 times
May [your name] have the strength, courage, hope, and faith to meet and overcome the difficulties in her/his life.
Repeat 3 times
Next replace your name with names of your close loved ones, then you can pick the names of others you want to send loving kindness. Last, replace your name with someone you may be having difficulties with or trouble understanding.
You will soon memorize the phrases and the words will come naturally.
I was taught not to say them with strong emotions, but rather just calmly repeat them.
by Lucy | Sep 29, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
My little one has just discovered the movie Frozen and is now addicted. Every morning on the way to school we listen to one or more of the songs from the soundtrack. You might think that it would get old listening to the same song(s) every day but it’s great, actually. Being able to sing your heart out in the car with your 3-year-old is pretty awesome. You’ve probably heard the iconic song Let It Go even if you’ve never seen the movie. It’s really fun to sing along to and is so catchy that it tends to stick in your head alllll day.
Well, one day this week as I was belting out the tune, part of the lyrics spoke to me in a whole new way.
In the movie, a little girl named Elsa has trouble controlling the magic powers she was born with. She grew up being told to “conceal, don’t feel” because no-one could know of these powers. Every time she thought about them or felt any emotion her powers would get the best of her. One day when they were revealed by accident, she ran away flustered at first but then she decided to embrace them. That’s when she sings…
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I’m free!
Let it go, let it go… I’m one with the wind and sky….
Now you might be thinking…where is she going with this? Why do I care about Elsa and her powers? And why did she get this song stuck in my head? Hear me out…
Because her family perceived it as a bad thing, Elsa was afraid of her power. The harder she tried to conceal it the more out of control is got.
Here’s how it relates to well-balanced eating: Think of all the foods that you label as bad, especially the ones you feel have a certain power over you. You try to do the “right” thing and stay away from them, but the harder you try the more mental space they take up in your consciousness. It becomes hard to control your thoughts about that food and all you want to do is eat it, so you do. Sometimes, guilt and shame can follow because you weren’t able to hold back.
We all have a tendency to label foods as good or bad. It makes sense. Our brain just wants an easy way of making decisions. We can then say we either did the “right” or “wrong” thing. But it’s not that straight forward. Food is a complex thing that cannot be summed up as simply good or bad. And when we do label them in this way, we give them power over us and we feel out of control.
So if you’ve ever felt this way, it’s time to “let go” of the idea of a perfect diet. “Let go” of labeling your food as good or bad, right or wrong. You’ll gain freedom and control. Then you’ll be singing along with Elsa..
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I’m free!
Let it go, let it go… I’m one with the wind and sky….
Food for thought: Here are 2 practical suggestions for letting go…
- Mindful eating can help us embrace all foods and receive the feedback we need to make food decisions. We can learn which foods our body enjoys, which ones it doesn’t care for and how much of them we need when we tune into our 5 senses.
- When you hear yourself saying or thinking good, bad, right or wrong, try to replace those adjectives with alternatives like tasty, nutritious, decadent, sweet, colorful, natural, bland, flavorful, comforting, and so on.
What other ways can you think of to let go of the perfect diet?
by Lucy | Sep 17, 2016 | Motivational Mondays
Monday, September 19, 2016
Last week while hanging out with some of my most favorite high school pals, I had the opportunity to spend time with my very good friend, Erik… he’s come a long way from our high school graduation and I am so proud of the man he’s become. From sneaking out and “borrowing” the car in the middle of the night as an unruly teen to now being part of an international Rugby team, we can all learn about the effects of peer pressure from Erik’s story.
As I am reminded by Jim Rohn, we are a product of our surroundings. Jim suggests you are a sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Take some time this week to reflect on your peer-choices and decide if those folks are lifting you up to your higher potential.
Erik grew up in a different kind of household than most of us at our private Catholic school. He did not have a college savings fund and decided to join the Marines after graduation. Needless to say, being in the war had a profound and long-lasting effect on Erik’s mental health. I’m proud of him for overcoming the PTSD that he suffered and for becoming a successful and caring boss, managing a local warehouse in Ohio.
Erik, like many of us, has been on a journey to find himself in this world. He is fun-loving and social – always making time to hang out with friends and play sports such as baseball and rugby.
It’s been neat to see how positive peer pressure has worked in his life… Erik continues to hang out with friends from our high school days who are also young professionals, many of whom are now married and starting their own families. After the first 6 months working in his big boy manager job, Erik found himself with a surplus of cash on hand. His first thought was to use that money and buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle, but after thinking about it, he decided to invest his money in mutual funds to save for more financial freedom in the future.
This is a big deal! Just 2-3 years ago this would not have been the same outcome. Between growing up, turning 30, and choosing to surround himself with positive peer pressure, Erik has shown tremendous growth and maturity.
This is a great example of how the relationships and people in our life can impact our choices. That is why I encourage you to reflect on your relationships and decide how they are affecting your day-to-day choices such as what you’re eating and drinking. Or maybe bigger life choices, such as financial investments or what career path to follow.
Food for thought:
Who are you hanging out with? Do you support the lifestyle of your closest friends and acquaintances?
Are they eating well-balanced or usually going out for energy-dense/nutrient-poor fast food? Do your friends or peers exercise or engage in regular physical activity?
by Lucy | Sep 7, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Last week I talked about gathering DATA when you start to have a craving. Did you try it? What’d you discover? If you didn’t get the chance to try it I want you to keep the idea in your back pocket so you’ll have it in case you need it! This week I want to elaborate on what you can do when you assess the situation and you find that you’re craving is really just a desire for something else. I want to share with you my personal experience with the “DATA” technique and then tell you about one of my favorite things to do next.
The discovery I made during my first WHOLE30…
I’ve always known that procrastination is a problem of mine but I never realized it was associated with what I choose to eat. It wasn’t until the whole30 that I started to pay attention to my food choices more closely than ever before. I knew that I craved chocolate at night. We all have a sweet tooth, right? I mean I come from a long line of chocoholics. Don’t most women? But I never really thought much about my cravings. It was just something that I accepted. I love chocolate. Period.
I discovered so much more. It wasn’t until I was in the midst of a whole30 adventure that I had this AHA moment. One of those…well, that was so obvious why didn’t I notice that before kind of moments.
Because I couldn’t just REACT and give in to my cravings, I was able to stop and bring light to what was behind them. I noticed that they would usually be around 8pm when the kids were finally in bed. Exhausted from the day, nothing sounded better than vegging out or grabbing a treat from the kitchen. I go to the kitchen and glance over at the sink full of the days dirty dishes, stacks of mail on the counter and a house full of toys cluttering the floor. Eek!
Diversion! Quick, I need a diversion! I’ll get a snack first before I tackle these messes. That’s the first thing my unconscious mind would say. Ahh..procrastination rears its ugly head. I was using food to procrastinate. Not cool.
But it was more than just procrastination. I would also be overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt for not having any desire to keep my house clean or keep up with chores. I should. I really should be a good housekeeper, wife, mom and just clean up so I can wake up to a nice and tidy home. But I really, really don’t want to! That was my inner dialogue. It was like a parent asking a child to do a simple task and a child throwing herself on the ground, wailing and whining about how much she doesn’t want to do what you’ve just asked. It was a true inner struggle. I know that I should be doing something productive and I felt so lazy for not wanting to do it.
Ha. And to think that until I was in the thick of my first whole30 experience I never thought twice about the reasons I craved chocolate. I just thought I craved it because it was delicious. But I can be really good at ignoring my feelings. It seems so simple in theory but actually realizing, naming and shining more light on your feelings is a true discipline. Mindfulness if you will.
Luckily at this same time I made this discovery, I was also reading the book Eating with Fierce Kindness, which is amazing by the way. Sasha T Loring calls us all to be our own friend and stop thinking so badly of ourselves. Let’s get rid of all the guilt and instead show ourselves a lot more compassion. So, I’ve been working on allowing myself time to rest at the end of the day if I need it and also trying to tackle chores before they get so out of hand and overwhelming. It’s a work in progress. And yes, I still love chocolate but I try to enjoy it when the time is right. Not to cover up some crazy feelings. Also, a work in progress.
Once you make your own discovery it helps to get curious about it. Here is my favorite way to think about and sort through what’s behind a craving. I write out a Shitty First Draft or SFD. It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a chance to simply write out what’s on your mind without any judgments or hesitation. Anne Lamott, the gal behind the SFD concept, says “just let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later….just get it all down on paper.”
Anne’s advice is geared toward writers but Brene Brown, one of my favorite authors, encourages everyone to create a SFD in regular everyday moments. She calls us to question the stories we make up in our heads and to be curious about our emotions. In her SFDs she writes out these 6 things and then fills in the blanks:
- The story I’m making up is.. (watch Brene talk about this more)
- My emotions..
- My body..
- My thinking..
- My beliefs…
- My actions…
Use this tool in addition to the DATA technique and to help you sort through those things that lie behind the cravings. I wonder what discoveries you might make? Next time you are experiencing a craving or even just feeling uncomfortable and vunerable give these two techniques a try.
by Lucy | Aug 24, 2016 | Well Balanced Wisdom
Life is too short to not treat ourselves, especially in those really special, not-going-to-happen-everyday moments. Gretchen Rubin, author of Better Than Before, is a big fan of “treats” and so am I! She says that a treat can be anything that makes you happy. It can be a new book, extra time to meditate, a phone call with a pal or of course a yummy food or drink.
The key to treating ourselves in a well-balanced manner is to not let food treats creep into our everyday moments. This is tricky, right?? It is really easy to get in the habit of ending every meal with something sweet. I like how Eve Schaub puts it in her book Year of No Sugar. She says something along the lines of ‘not eating dessert after dinner feels like going to a movie and leaving right before the happy ending.’ Can you relate? Yep, me too. Eating a sweet after every meal is a hard habit to break but it’s an important one to think about.
Melissa Hartwig, creator of the whole30 program has a good rule of thumb. She calls it the one bite rule and it basically means don’t be afraid to stop at one bite if that food isn’t all that you thought it was cracked up to be. She says, “the only reason to indulge in a less healthy treat in the first place is if it’s so incredibly, deliciously worth it that you’re willing to accept the less healthy consequences as a trade-off for getting romantic with this treat.”
So for me those (two) s’mores that I ate were totally worth it! I savored every bite and took in the moment! And I loved watching my 3 year old do the same!! But I don’t want to reintroduce the sugar dragon in my life on a nightly basis. I sleep better and feel better without it.
So….here are some questions for you to ponder….
1. What makes you happy? What one considers a treat, may not be what you consider a treat. So knowing yourself is important! Make a list of at least 3 things that make you happy.
2. Which food treats are super special and worth every calorie? Is it your momma’s homemade pumpkin pie? Is it a latte from your favorite coffee shop that you enjoy with a friend? What makes them special to you?
3. What foods are you eating regularly that you could really pass up? Store bought cookies? Ice cream after dinner every night? Stale doughnuts at the office? Do they really taste good? Are they really special?
4. What non-food treats can you enjoy more often?
